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Author Topic: Twisted Quotes - forum game  (Read 1416 times)

Offline beemaster

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Twisted Quotes - forum game
« on: September 02, 2009, 10:45:42 AM »
The guys and I have been tossing around a few quotes and varying endings just for a chuckle. I was wondering how many of you could come up with a different end to a well know quote or two :)

A BIRD IN THE HAND - makes a mighty fine dinner if its big enough.

WHEN IT RAINS - most outdoor things get wet!

TOO MANY COOKS - usually make too much food.

IF I HAD A HAMMER - my neighbors would call the cops after 10pm.

BIG THINGS COME - in really big boxes.

"We're going to the Moon, not because it's easy, but because" - we've already been to Disneyland.

AN APPLE A DAY - is one less apple on the tree.

KEEP THE HOME FIRES BURNING - unless you live in Southern California Hills.

HE WHO CASTS THE FIRST STONE - better hit what he's throwing at!

"Give me Liberty" - or a nice corned beef on rye with mustard and swiss.

BETTER TO MEASURE TWICE - than to leave your ruler at home.


These were some of mine and coworkers - wonder what you can come up with.
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Offline BeeHopper

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Re: Twisted Quotes - forum game
« Reply #1 on: September 02, 2009, 12:19:42 PM »
What goes UP, must come DOWN.........................Someone owes me a Balloon  :-\

Offline indypartridge

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Re: Twisted Quotes - forum game
« Reply #2 on: September 02, 2009, 01:31:12 PM »
A house divided against itself ... is a duplex.

Offline BoBn

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Re: Twisted Quotes - forum game
« Reply #3 on: September 02, 2009, 01:37:23 PM »
The early bird gets the worm, but the second rat gets the cheese.

A bird in the hand makes it awfully hard to blow your nose.

A rolling stone gathers momentum.

You can fool some of the people all of the time,
and all of the people some of the time,
but you can make a fool of yourself anytime.

You can fool some of the people all of the time,
and all of the people some of the time,
but you can never fool your Mom.

When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.

Poverty begins at home.

"Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, and imprisoned; yet we have not advanced one inch toward uniformity. What has been the effect of coercion? To make one-half the world fools and the other half hypocrites."
--Thomas Jefferson

Offline dragonfly

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Re: Twisted Quotes - forum game
« Reply #4 on: September 02, 2009, 01:39:49 PM »
a house divided against itself ... is a duplex.

Hah! :-D

When in Rome, check out the pizza.

Offline dragonfly

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Re: Twisted Quotes - forum game
« Reply #5 on: September 02, 2009, 01:42:45 PM »
The early bird is the one that gets eaten by the owl.

Offline Vibe

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Re: Twisted Quotes - forum game
« Reply #6 on: September 02, 2009, 02:34:14 PM »
You can fool some of the people all of the time,
and all of the people some of the time,
But all you need in November is to fool Most of them to get elected.
The opinion of 10,000 men is of no value if none of them know anything about the subject.
- Marcus Aurelius -

Offline Jerrymac

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Re: Twisted Quotes - forum game
« Reply #7 on: September 02, 2009, 04:23:09 PM »
A bird in hand - is probably dead and just gave you the avian flu  :shock:
:rainbowflower:  Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.   :rainbowflower:

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Offline reinbeau

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Re: Twisted Quotes - forum game
« Reply #8 on: September 02, 2009, 06:19:47 PM »
I'm not a glam girl but.....

All that glitters belongs on my finger!  :evil:

- Ann, A Gardening Beek -  ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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Offline beecanbee

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Re: Twisted Quotes - forum game
« Reply #9 on: September 02, 2009, 08:44:49 PM »
As busy as a – beekeeper in the Spring

As useless as – drones in the Autumn

As useless as a - Republican in Massachusetts

As useless as a – Democrat in (OK, there are enough of you Republicans out there to fill this one in for me….)

Early to bed, early to rise – keeps a man single and flush with cash

The nail that sticks up gets – a picture hung on it

A picture is worth – whatever the market will bear
Paul

“I come from a state that raises corn and cotton and cockleburs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me."  Duncan Vandiver

A boy can do half the work of a man, but two boys do less, and three boys get nothing done at all. :)

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Offline beemaster

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Re: Twisted Quotes - forum game
« Reply #10 on: September 03, 2009, 12:05:24 AM »
a few more (some I added a lead in).

IF IT WEREN'T FOR BAD LUCK - I'd go to Atlantic City much more often.

IF IT AIN'T BROKE... The Government will put it out for bid

(Winston Chirchill) "When going through Hell" - don't forget the hotdogs!

JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL - and the rest is on another forum :)

a "WATCHED POT" - should be able to tell you when it boils.

IF a TREE FALLS IN THE FOREST, AND NO ONE IS THERE TO HEAR IT - Do the other trees STILL laugh at it???

"Mr. Watson I presume?" - "why... you were expecting Charro?

IF YOUR FRIENDS CALL YOU WINNIE THE POOH - Maybe you should eat a little less honey!

THOUGH FOR THE DAY

When I looked in the mirror and turned around, I still felt as if my reflection were still looking at me - I surprised turned around and sure enough caught him staring! So, I snuck out of the room, never losing his gaze. As I left I locked the door as I closed it, which worked to well - cause the next morning when I trid to open the door, HE was still trapped inside. I'm afraid though he has the key and won't slide it under the door to me. If he weren't so stubborn he's just unlocket it, cause I have to pee  :tumbleweed:
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Offline Geoff

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Re: Twisted Quotes - forum game
« Reply #11 on: September 03, 2009, 12:25:23 AM »
People in stone houses shouldn't throw glass-------Its much more expensive than stones.
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Offline Bee Happy

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Re: Twisted Quotes - forum game
« Reply #12 on: September 03, 2009, 02:15:51 AM »
he who hesitates - will laugh himself sick watching everyone else.
a stitch in time - will stop the bleeding.
a penny saved - will lose value from inflation.
fools rush in - where others seek amusement.
be happy and make others happy.

Offline Geoff

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Re: Twisted Quotes - forum game
« Reply #13 on: September 03, 2009, 07:45:42 AM »
A rolling stone gathers no moss------especially Mick Jagger.
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Offline Vibe

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Re: Twisted Quotes - forum game
« Reply #14 on: September 03, 2009, 11:26:32 AM »
a rolling stone gathers no moss------especially Mick Jagger.
Unless it's Kate Moss. :D
The opinion of 10,000 men is of no value if none of them know anything about the subject.
- Marcus Aurelius -

 

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