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Author Topic: Senior Citizen  (Read 1382 times)
kathyp
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« on: August 07, 2009, 12:12:47 AM »

this is so true to my life, i had to post it.


 This is a story by David McClure from the Dallas News Community Opinion page.
 
$5.37. That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bueno said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Emo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."
 
I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully. I stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet - a mere child! Senior citizen?
 
I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Emo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?
 
I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.
 
Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?
 
"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind. "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"
 
I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror.
 
Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.
 
Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle. Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.
 
I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Emo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.
 
Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake." I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.
 
She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."
 
All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.
 
As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanky.
 
The good news was I had successfully found my way home.
 
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« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2009, 03:23:47 AM »

this is so true to my life, i had to post it.


 This is a story by David McClure from the Dallas News Community Opinion page.
 
$5.37. That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bueno said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Emo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."
 
I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully. I stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet - a mere child! Senior citizen?
 
I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Emo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?
 
I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.
 
Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? a toddler?
 
"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind. "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"
 
I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror.
 
Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. a partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.
 
Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle. Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.
 
I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Emo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.
 
Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake." I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.
 
She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."
 
All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.
 
As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanky.
 
The good news was I had successfully found my way home.
 








 kathyp ...
Are you that old  huh evil



    BEE HAPPY Jim 134  Smiley
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Geoff
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« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2009, 06:33:16 AM »

Go easy on us OLD GEEZERS Jim. But I do enjoy getting older day by day.
To live to my ambitions I've got 9337 days left and if I only make it to 99 I'll be the most disappointed person at the Pearly Gates.
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qa33010
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« Reply #3 on: August 07, 2009, 11:29:17 AM »

    My son is a Boy Scout and asked if he could help his mother and me to find our vehicle.  After he wiped his eyes from laughing.  Great one!
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Everyone said it couldn't be done. But he with a chuckle replied, "I won't be one to say it is so, until I give it a try."  So he buckled right in with a trace of a grin.  If he had a worry he hid it and he started to sing as he tackled that thing that couldn't be done, and he did it.  (unknown)
1reb
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« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2009, 06:25:45 PM »

 grin
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giant pumpkin peep
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« Reply #5 on: August 29, 2009, 07:18:52 PM »

good one
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I like pumpkins!
RayMarler
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« Reply #6 on: August 29, 2009, 08:27:56 PM »

I went to town the other night, last night I think, I forget why... Oh, for cigs and some ice cream! Anyways, I got the cigs at the fuel station and instead of getting an ice cream bar there, I decided to go a little further down the street to McDonalds and get a hot fudge sundae for a buck. Those things are really good  grin  I had to goto town, 10 miles there, one way!, to get a hot fudge sundae because there is no way I can have any ice cream in the house. I've lost 15 pounds since I moved here. Anyways, I ate the sundae on the way home while I was driving. I was all done with it before I got to my driveway, and even tho I was concentrating on driving (not eating or smoking while driving!)... I passed my driveway!  shocked  So I flipped a uee in the road and went back. But hey, really, I'm not getting old! No really, I'm not, I've got a great excuse, this is my new place! But really, I been here over 2 months, and never missed the driveway before, I guess I was just enjoying the after taste of that hot fudge sundae too much.
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iddee
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« Reply #7 on: August 29, 2009, 09:22:38 PM »

I started to reply to this one, but forgot what I was going to say.   huh
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jimmy
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« Reply #8 on: August 29, 2009, 11:09:33 PM »

You folks just think your memory is going bad. Here's my story. Several I have made plans on how I was going to repair an item , I might study on it a week or so cause usually there's no
big events in my life .  On the day I am to do the deed I forget exactly what the deeds was that I was suppose to do, my wife thinks I am faking to prevent doing that job ,but I assure you it is real.
After reading  Kathy's story I can certainly identify.
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