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Author Topic: My youngest is in Vegas  (Read 2036 times)
reinbeau
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« on: June 27, 2009, 06:49:51 AM »

This kid has all the luck, I think.  He's out there at the Venetian, his friend won some Bud Light Ping-Pon Tournament, that got him four nights and five days paid at The Venetian, food and all the Bud they can drink for free, along with the airfare.  The friend is currently girlfriendless, so he took my son, his best friend.  Pretty nice for two 24 year olds!  I hope they behave themselves and come home safely, Christopher starts his new job on Tuesday after a four month lay off.
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- Ann, A Gardening Beek -  ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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kathyp
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« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2009, 11:25:08 AM »

they will have a blast!  we took our youngest for his 21st and our oldest joined us there.  it was great.  it's now one of my youngests favorite places to go for a long weekend.  it's cheap and entertaining and not so far away from him. smiley.

he's to much of a tightwad (like his mother) to lose much gambling  evil
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.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville
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« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2009, 11:40:52 AM »

I hope they get lucky and misbehave! banana devil


...JP
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reinbeau
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« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2009, 08:30:59 PM »

Hey, JP, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, as long as he comes home in time for his new job on Tuesday I'm happy!  grin
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- Ann, A Gardening Beek -  ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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Cindi
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« Reply #4 on: July 02, 2009, 10:22:58 AM »

Ann, oh so cool, you can bet your bottom dollar that your Son will have the time of his life, and will NEED to leave all that stuff that they did in Vegas there, smiling.  Remember those good ol' days when we were in our 20s, hee, hee, smiling.  That is great that the pal took him along for that ride, I am sure that your Son and friend behaved nicely, just perhaps maybe a few too many Bud.  Oh well, the young is young, they will learn things about beer pretty quickly, especially the need to drink a whole whack of stuff the next day, like water for dehydration  cheesy.  Good that he got a job, four months is a pretty long time to be without an income.  Is he still at home?  Can't remember if you have ever told us that or not.  If he was, I am sure Mamma and Dad looked after him well, all good things take time.  Beautiful days, to be lovin', livin', and sharin', great health wishes.  Cindi

(right, how is the aftermath of the shingles coming along?), hope you are well, smiling
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reinbeau
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« Reply #5 on: July 02, 2009, 03:49:51 PM »

Cindi, he still lives at home with us, which isn't always a good thing between him and hubby (who, remember, isn't his father).  If Greg had come into our lives earlier things would be different, but he didn't, and that sometimes rubs them both the wrong way, atlhough for the most part things are ok.  He's going into his third year apprenticeship with the Local 103 electricians' union. 

The boys had a blast, they all came home in one piece (others went along but paid their own way, I guess).  Christopher has started his new job, thank goodness, one guy back to work, one more to go!

The shingles are fine now.  I did go to the doctor for a full blood workup so we can try to figure out why my defenses were so down.....we'll see what they come up with.
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Cindi
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« Reply #6 on: July 03, 2009, 10:21:24 AM »

Ann, yes, two men in a house, that would be a difficult thing to live with, I totally understand what you are saying about the step son thingy.  Good he is to work and out of Greg's hair, smiling.

I would love to hear what the blood work up said.  I do wonder why you were immune-compromised.  Seems to me like you live a good and healthy lifestyle.  Can you think of anything that may have brought your immune down?  Anything?  Think.....think...must be something.  Perhaps it was just stress from monetary stuff.  You know well that stress DOES lower the immune system, any kind of stressors and Greg not working is more than likely an enormous task on your stress levels, no matter what you eat or do, things can get to us.  Keep that chin up, and always up, that will help too,  cool cheesy.  How is Greg doing after his surgery?  Haven't heard anymore from you about it, or maybe you have said things, but I missed it.  I have been so absent from here lately.  Missin' my forum friends.  Have that wonderful day, to love and live, health.  Cindi
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There are strange things done in the midnight sun by the men who moil for gold.  The Arctic trails have their secret tales that would make your blood run cold.  The Northern Lights have seen queer sights, but the queerest they ever did see, what the night on the marge of Lake Lebarge, I cremated Sam McGee.  Robert Service
reinbeau
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« Reply #7 on: July 03, 2009, 02:06:49 PM »

Absolutely it is stress, Cindi, monetary stress mainly, stress did me in the last time I got really sick, too.  Greg is doing fine, there were no after treatments needed, but he needs to get back to work, because it's just not a good thing for a man to not work - unless they like it that way, and he surely doesn't!
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- Ann, A Gardening Beek -  ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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dragonfly
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« Reply #8 on: July 03, 2009, 04:27:22 PM »

I believe that behind most problems, mental and physical, you will find stress. Sometimes it's even good stress. It's still rough on us.

Some people are just born lucky Smiley  Glad he had a good time and arrived home safely. I have this theory that guardians angels do indeed exist, because otherwise, most of us would die in our youth.

Yep- we did the step-father thingy, and it was really rough. I think it would still be rough with a natural father thingy too. It's just the nature of kids to buck authority, and thank God they do. Whenever any teenager or young adult seems to be overly compliant, I have serious concerns about their mental well-being.  Wink
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kathyp
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« Reply #9 on: July 03, 2009, 04:41:18 PM »

even without the stepfather component, there comes a time when kids challenge authority.  they must, to become independent.  there comes a time when they leave, or have be kicked out.  it's part of life and part of parenting.  i will always remember the day my father rousted my brother from bed, gave him an hour to pack, and sent him on his way.  my mother cried.  my father said "he will be fine.  starvation is a great motivator".  so it was.  he now does very well!  smiley he did live in his car for awhile......

we have been where you are with jobs and money.  it sucks.  just remember that bad does not last forever.  without it, how would we know when we hit the good times?  evil
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.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville
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« Reply #10 on: July 03, 2009, 04:56:51 PM »

father rousted my brother from bed, gave him an hour to pack, and sent him on his way.  my mother cried.  my father said "he will be fine.  starvation is a great motivator".  so it was.  he now does very well!  smiley he did live in his car for awhile......



Been there, done that, with my own son, who has turned out to be a wonderful responsible young man who is the apple of my eye. The difference is that when we kicked ours out, I was past the point of tears, and had arrived at the point of anger. That was what it took.
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reinbeau
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« Reply #11 on: July 03, 2009, 06:30:22 PM »

Admittedly when the divorce was going on I really let up on him, as a result, he runs a bit roughshod over me, and it drives Greg crazy.  Not that he's a bad kid, but he just doesn't like to do what we ask of him, if Greg gets after him he does it.....but the 'getting after him' isn't very pleasant.  He's 24, he really should fledge, but he's got this apprenticeship going and the employment isn't dependable in this economy.  I'd love it if he'd move out - but I don't want to toss him, frankly, right now, I need the rent money.  Rock>>>>me<<<<hard place.  Undecided
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- Ann, A Gardening Beek -  ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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kathyp
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« Reply #12 on: July 03, 2009, 07:07:46 PM »

rent is a good thing!  grin
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.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville
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« Reply #13 on: July 03, 2009, 10:48:29 PM »

Oh, I do understand, and I don't think my way is necessarily the best way. It just worked for our son, and without our tough love approach, I believe he would be in jail or no longer alive. He was just the type of kid who had to see the underbelly of life to know that he didn't want to live there. He was an extreme sort, but fortunately he survived it.
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reinbeau
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« Reply #14 on: July 04, 2009, 08:22:02 AM »

I'm happy he snapped out of it, Dragonfly.  It isn't fun raising some late teen-early twenties boys, that's for sure!
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- Ann, A Gardening Beek -  ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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Natalie
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« Reply #15 on: July 05, 2009, 12:30:39 AM »

Ahh, the joys of parenting adult children.... or the joys of co-parenting... or the joys of blended families..
This scenario sounds eerily familiar.
The older they get the lazier they get.
The thing that really gets things going here is that I will be doing something around the house and Bill will come in and say where is your son, why isn't he helping you?
I know when he says your son or your daughter that it isn't going to be a pleasant exchange, thats the only time he refers to them that way.
I say I don't want his help with what I am doing, he looks at me for a second and then storms off yelling for my son to get the hell down stairs and help your mother.
My son who had no idea I was even doing anything automatically gets on the defensive and its on.
Yeah, but I didn't want any help. Well he doesn't care, if he thinks I need the help then they better help.
Yes sometimes they could do more but there are times I just want to be alone in what I am doing and not explaining the process to someone the whole time.
He does the same thing with my daughters, he always tells them how much they could be learning from me when I am cooking or gardening etc.
He thinks I am covering for them.
The thing is, I will put my foot down when I really want them to do something and they do it.
My oldest boy will do something for me unless Bill asks him to and then he refuses, why? How the hell do I know, some psychological crap I don't understand.
They butt heads all the time, get me all upset and then when I am mad at one of them they stick up for eachother rolleyes
Now Bill has been his only dad since he was 4 years old, so I don't think it has that much to do with the stepfather thing, I think it would happen no matter what.
They did everything together while he was growing up and were very close, they use to hop in the car and yell goodbye to me and I would be like uh where are you going and they would say never you mind this is man stuff and they would take off somewhere.
He was alway invovled with the girls lives as well, he never missed a soccer game, school conference, school play, father daughter dances etc.
They have the same types of power struggles as he does with our son.
I think things will work out in the end Ann, I noticed a big improvement when the girls went off to college.
Whenever they are here now they are much more mature, respectful and helpful, not perfect but I actually like them now. Wink
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kathyp
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« Reply #16 on: July 05, 2009, 12:35:37 AM »

Quote
Now Bill has been his only dad since he was 4 years old, so I don't think it has that much to do with the stepfather thing, I think it would happen no matter what.

it does!!!
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.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville
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« Reply #17 on: July 05, 2009, 11:20:16 AM »

Being a stepfather is not easy when they are teenager's you do every thing and they still hate your gut's. They don't under stand that you are buying there cloth's and putting food in there mouth. But when they move out they under stand what you have done for them. We still don't get along to good but we respect each other. I have a hard time letting go of what they said to me and that is my problem.
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« Reply #18 on: July 05, 2009, 11:35:22 AM »

I hear what you are saying Irwin, it seems that they are that way even if you are their natural parents as well.
Kids don't think about what they are saying and the long term affects of their actions.
My own girls will say something to me when they are mad that is really hurtful and then an hour later ask me if I want to go shopping together or to go out for lunch with them.
I am always amazed at how they can turn it on and off and they don't understand why I am still upset.
Kids that age give in to their immediate impulses when they are mad, I think girls especially are very emotional and when they are angry they want to hit you where it hurts.
The only consolation is that they will go through the same thing someday with their own kids. evil
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reinbeau
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« Reply #19 on: July 05, 2009, 11:54:49 AM »

That is so true, Natalie, they can cut you to the core be they step or born children.  Christopher wants Greg's approval, I can see it - but Greg didn't raise him, and he thinks quite a bit differently than Chris does.  He's 26 years older than him and I think he has a hard time remembering what it was like when he was the struggling young man he once was.  He hates it when I remind him that he has never been ground down to a fine powder, not ever having had his own children.  I pick my battles.  Greg wants everything done with a sense of 'ownership' on Chris' part, and that just isn't going to happen, until Chris is out on his own.  They do get along, thankfully, for the most part, and neither one has hurt the other deeply, it's mainly frustration coming out on both their parts.  Add to that the fact that they're both 6'4" -I'm between them - I call it the Clash of the Titans
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- Ann, A Gardening Beek -  ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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