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Author Topic: Liar Liar ....  (Read 4026 times)
Jerrymac
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« on: April 06, 2009, 01:03:41 PM »

I find it amazing how many times a person claims to be honest and never lies and then the next moment they spout out a lie and not even think about it. Or say something like, "Oh it is just a little white lie."

For the past twenty years I have tried hard to not tell a lie. And I find that sometimes I slip up. Maybe not intentionally but still an untruth is still a lie. And when I find I have done this I make attempts to correct it. It might be something like my son wanting money and I tell him I don't have any. I will later go and amend that to I do have some money but it needs to go toward something else.

Now there are those times I do spout out an untruth in a joking manner with great certainty that the intended audience knows it is not true. Then of course the huge stories that no one could be expected to believe.

For the most part however, a lie is an intent to deceive. This could be a big lie.... "I didn't have sex with that woman." or even a little lie "No son, I don't have any money." 

And then there is "pushing the truth". This is where what you say is basically true, but has been expanded a bit to make a better story or stronger point.

So I was just wondering what you guys consider is a permissible lie. Do you never tell a lie? Do you think it's OK to tell lies on forums and chat rooms because you really don't know the people. Is it OK to lie to your enemies?

Are little white lies not really lies?
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« Reply #1 on: April 06, 2009, 02:36:47 PM »

I think it better to NOT tell the whole truth than to lie - as you mention the FORUM, not always is it in the best interest of a particular member (s), the forum as a whole or anyone to OVER EXPLAIN a situation, keeping a shortened version often saved people a lot of embarrasment and is the right thing to do Smiley

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« Reply #2 on: April 06, 2009, 05:03:10 PM »

Several years ago someone did some research,I don't know the method they used, or how they accomplished it, and I wish I could remember were I read it.

But those posting on internet forums, piloting, motorhomes, camping, etc. and I guess bee forums also, about a 1/3 are just BS'ing, and have no or little experience.

As a former part time Bar Tender, there were always a few that had a opinion on everything, they became more of a expert at BS'ing the more drinks they had, of course every one knew them !

Now on the internet with hidden identities any thing goes !

Why I say;
Take every thing you see on the forums with a grain or two of salt !!

That's My opinion and I'm sticking with it till it gets changed.

Bee-Bop

PS. The old TV program Cheer's was awful close to the truth !
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kathyp
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« Reply #3 on: April 06, 2009, 05:10:04 PM »

personal integrity might be more important than complete honesty.  there are times when the truth can not be told.  sometimes a lie is even called for.  you need to have some faith that the person who may be lying to you, is doing it for a higher purpose.....
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Keith13
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« Reply #4 on: April 06, 2009, 06:07:29 PM »

Ya know Jerry most times I try to tell the truth. But there are sometimes with my girlfriend I know it is better to lie than tell the truth. Example....does this dress make me look fat. some idiots might fall right into that trap but not I, my answer is of course not baby grin grin  At work with dealing with customers some will ask me about their competition and I will tell them I do not know or something along those lines, when I very well might know what the are asking about. Ethically I do not believe it right of me to give let say Exxon info to Shell or vice versa. In my personal life I try to be as honest as possible learned at an early age I don't remember stories I tell very well and if I told a lie I had to remember that lie so as not to bust myself later. It was just easier to remember the truth and not have to remember all the falsehoods.

Keith
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Jerrymac
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« Reply #5 on: April 06, 2009, 06:40:03 PM »

So you would rather lie than to tell someone you will not answer that. Or you'd rather not answer that.

Of course telling someone the dress does not make them look fat is not necessarily a lie. Usually the person looks fat no matter what and it might be they who make the dress look fat  shocked

Another thing is, once a person catches you in a lie it is hard to get their trust back. One of my grandsons will believe me before he will believe his own parents, simply because he knows they have lied to him. Might have been just one of those little white lies.... to protect him or what ever, but still a lie he caught them in.

Does KFC have a secret recipe? Yes. Will they tell you what it is? No. And they don't have to lie about it. Just simply, "we ain't tellin'!"
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« Reply #6 on: April 06, 2009, 08:03:32 PM »

depends on what you are doing.  if you find you are in a position where you must keep secrets, sometimes a lie is all that will do.  "i don't want to take about it" is just not going to cut it. 
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.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville
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« Reply #7 on: April 07, 2009, 01:30:40 AM »

I have to agree with both of Kathy's posts.

Personal integrity is more important.  Doing what you say you're going to do, when you say you're going to do it is part of integrity.  Paying a debt, regardless of how old, small, big, or inconvenient is part of integrity.  Standing up for the principals by which you live your life is part of integrity.  Trying to be kind, considerate, generous, and being a good example are all part of integrity.

Do all of that and an occasional lie is hardly noticed.  Some lies are necessary.

Intentional fabrications, on the other hand, soon identify a person as a untrustworty loudmouth.
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mick
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« Reply #8 on: April 07, 2009, 04:05:16 AM »

At work, I have to lie through my teeth every 5 minutes.

In real life, I have nothing to lie about!

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Scadsobees
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« Reply #9 on: April 07, 2009, 08:12:37 AM »


Does KFC have a secret recipe? Yes. Will they tell you what it is? No. And they don't have to lie about it. Just simply, "we ain't tellin'!"

But how do you know that?  That yellow bit of paper(that nobody's seen) could have been the Colonel's grocery list. They get publicity.  They could be lying.  But you don't have a choice but to trust them....
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Jerrymac
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« Reply #10 on: April 07, 2009, 09:25:04 AM »

They have some sort of batter on their chicken. Does anyone know what is in it?

I am going to have to ask for specifics cause I just can't think of anything a person would have to lie about.

Mick, what kind of job does one take that requires them to lie? I would have to move on to something else.

Here are more examples around here. My daughter would get mad at me when I would go to answer the phone. She would say "If it's so and so tell them I am not here." So I would not answer the phone. If I answer the phone and someone is wanting info on someone, I just tell them I don't give out that information. I would tell the caller they don't want to talk right now and hang up rather than say they are not here.
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« Reply #11 on: April 07, 2009, 09:43:02 AM »

They have some sort of batter on their chicken. Does anyone know what is in it?


Tony Chachere's

Keith
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Jerrymac
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« Reply #12 on: April 07, 2009, 10:16:19 AM »

They have some sort of batter on their chicken. Does anyone know what is in it?


Tony Chachere's

Keith

I don't know what that is. Must be sports related  rolleyes
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rainbow sunflower  Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.   rainbow sunflower

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« Reply #13 on: April 07, 2009, 10:18:10 AM »

They have some sort of batter on their chicken. Does anyone know what is in it?


Tony Chachere's

Keith

Its a local spice here in south Louisiana

I don't know what that is. Must be sports related  rolleyes
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Jerrymac
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« Reply #14 on: April 07, 2009, 10:20:12 AM »

Really? A spice?

I was thinking since I said "batter" he was a baseball player.  embarassed
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« Reply #15 on: April 07, 2009, 10:47:43 AM »

I've always had the belief that it is better to tell someone it is NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS than to LIE TO THEM - but some situations are so far from the norm, that special rules must apply. If a small lie lets someone go about life feeling better about themselves, then I'll gladly stretch the truth some.

Again thought, sometimes it is a matter of opinion too: my wife came home with what I thought was a hideous haircut one time, she was obviously boasting it toward me, in her mind really loving the look - To me it looked like three birds and ha fight on her head and they all died right there, but I sure wasn't going to tell her that. If it made her feel happy, thatn my feelings for her outweighed my perception of the truth. Then again, who is to say that it wasn't ME that was wrong!

When it comes to the forum though, I always do my best to keep the members informed with the most accurate info I have - good or bad, I do the boss thing. In private messages, I speak openly and try to resolve issues or show the member the door. So when we lie and why we lie really has purposes that can't be answered in a yes or no format.

At the end of the day, it is about feeling good about yourself and how you have made others feel.

In the outside world: work, dealing with strangers or at least people you owe to, then you have more room to tell them it's none of their business, and I don't mind doing that one bit.

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Jerrymac
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« Reply #16 on: April 07, 2009, 11:02:29 AM »

My wife learned from the git-go that I like long hair on women. Her's was not even to her shoulders when we met, now it is down to her... umm... back side. She knows she can cut it off if she wants to, but also knows I would not like it as much.

And I do avoid lying to new parents about how their baby looks.  Lips Sealed
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rainbow sunflower  Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.   rainbow sunflower

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Keith13
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« Reply #17 on: April 07, 2009, 11:44:16 AM »

My wife learned from the git-go that I like long hair on women. Her's was not even to her shoulders when we met, now it is down to her... umm... back side. She knows she can cut it off if she wants to, but also knows I would not like it as much.

And I do avoid lying to new parents about how their baby looks.  Lips Sealed

I lie in that situation Jerry dealing with babies. What good does it do to tell some happy parents how ugly the baby is?

Charles Barkley once said " if so many beautiful babies are being born why are there so many ugly people walking around?"

Makes you think all peolple lie about pretty babies

Keith
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« Reply #18 on: April 07, 2009, 11:45:10 AM »

All babies are sweet, even the ugly ones, right?  That would be true without lying about the ugly ones... grin  I always told my wife that babies look like grubs with arms....she don't appreciate that none  evil.

I agree with you on the lying thing.  If I try to tell a lie I get all shifty feeling and I can't look anybody in the eye. rolleyes

With kids it isn't always so easy...if they want to know something, "I'm not telling you that" usually don't fly.  So they usually pester me until I throw some crazy off-the-wall answer at them (is it a lie if it is so obvious and not meant to deceive??) and then they usually get it....

There is a time and a place for a "lie", although rare.  To save a pain or a life.  What happened in world war 2.  To protect vulnerable children from the parents indiscretions.
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« Reply #19 on: April 07, 2009, 11:48:31 AM »

The problem (for me) with lying about hairdos and specially cooked meals and other things with my wife is that then they come around again and again and again: " but I thought you liked that..."

Then again, my wife don't have no trouble telling me what she don't like. rolleyes
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Rick
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