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Author Topic: So much like real life  (Read 1297 times)

Offline oldenglish

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So much like real life
« on: March 27, 2009, 06:19:37 PM »
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making
love to a very attractive young woman.

And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried.
'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your
children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can
tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be
the last words you'll say to me!'

And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive
home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down
and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She
told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I
made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid
you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she
was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I
threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have
had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which
you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't
wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the
expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the

The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for
my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned
to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please ... Do you have anything
else that your wife doesn't use?'

Offline vermmy35

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Re: So much like real life
« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2009, 09:41:21 PM »
Roflmao Ain't it the truth :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:
Semper Fi to all my brothers out there

Offline 1reb

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Re: So much like real life
« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2009, 12:16:22 PM »
 :evil: :-D :evil:

Offline indypartridge

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Re: So much like real life
« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2009, 12:50:19 PM »
Not sure why, but it reminds me of another joke...

Pete the Mailman had faithfully delivered mail for many years over the same route. Everyone on his route knew him, and as his retirement date approached, many gave him small gifts. On his final day, he took his time, stopping to chat and say good-bye to everyone along his route. At the Blonde's house, she met him and invited him in for lunch. She led him to the kitchen where she had prepared a nice luncheon. After eating, she invited him to the bedroom for fun & games. When Pete finally got ready to leave, she handed him a dollar. Pete was confused. He said "I enjoyed lunch, I really enjoyed the bedroom, but I don't understand about the dollar."
The Blonde replied, "Last night I told my husband that it would be your last day, and I asked him what I should do. He said 'Screw him, give him a buck'. Lunch was my idea!"