Welcome, Guest

Author Topic: We need a divorce!  (Read 1933 times)

Offline reinbeau

  • Super Bee
  • *****
  • Posts: 2502
  • Gender: Female
We need a divorce!
« on: March 24, 2009, 02:39:34 PM »
Warning:  If you are politically hyper-sensative, please do not read this post.


DIVORCE AGREEMENT


THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!!


Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:


We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement: Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them)

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,



John J. Wall

Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.

- Ann, A Gardening Beek -  ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

Click for Hanson, Massachusetts Forecast" border="0" height="150" width="256

Offline kathyp

  • Universal Bee
  • *******
  • Posts: 15488
  • Gender: Female
Re: We need a divorce!
« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2009, 02:50:50 PM »
excellent!!!!!
.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville

Offline Keith13

  • Super Bee
  • *****
  • Posts: 1830
  • Gender: Male
Re: We need a divorce!
« Reply #2 on: March 24, 2009, 02:55:20 PM »
Wow that was written by a LAW student. Maybe we might end up with 1 lawyer with his head on his shoulders instead of up somewhere else

Keith

Offline vermmy35

  • Field Bee
  • ***
  • Posts: 507
  • Gender: Male
Re: We need a divorce!
« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2009, 04:03:33 PM »
God I love it!!!! :-D
Semper Fi to all my brothers out there
http://gettingbacktocountryliving.blogspot.com/

Online iddee

  • Galactic Bee
  • ******
  • Posts: 6436
  • Gender: Male
Re: We need a divorce!
« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2009, 09:14:36 PM »
BEEEEEEEE  uuutiful
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Offline davedill

  • New Bee
  • *
  • Posts: 18
  • Gender: Male
Re: We need a divorce!
« Reply #5 on: March 24, 2009, 10:47:28 PM »
I would like to ammend the divorce agreement in that liberals must retain Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid.  Since I am from PA I would also like to throw in slick Eddy Rendell as a bonus!!!! :-D

Offline Brian D. Bray

  • Galactic Bee
  • ******
  • Posts: 7369
  • Gender: Male
  • I really look like this, just ask Cindi.
    • http://spaces.msn.com/thecoonsden
Re: We need a divorce!
« Reply #6 on: March 24, 2009, 11:02:17 PM »
And don't forget Charlie Rangall, the champion of financial disaster!  I'm also willing to part with legalized marijuana, death with dignity, and Late Term Abortion.
Life is a school.  What have you learned?   :brian:      The greatest danger to our society is apathy, vote in every election!

Offline kathyp

  • Universal Bee
  • *******
  • Posts: 15488
  • Gender: Female
Re: We need a divorce!
« Reply #7 on: March 24, 2009, 11:17:49 PM »
eddy was blathering on fox tonight.  they can keep murtha, and franks too. 

check this out.  an award for murtha from my navy!!  it's enough to make me want to regurgitate.

http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/33103_Rescind_John_Murthas_Award_from_the_Navy
.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville

Offline Scadsobees

  • Galactic Bee
  • ******
  • Posts: 3198
  • Gender: Male
  • Best use of smileys in a post award.
Re: We need a divorce!
« Reply #8 on: March 25, 2009, 12:03:22 AM »
And John Dingall (berry) and Carl Levin and Debbie Stabehernow. :roll:
Rick

Offline Brian D. Bray

  • Galactic Bee
  • ******
  • Posts: 7369
  • Gender: Male
  • I really look like this, just ask Cindi.
    • http://spaces.msn.com/thecoonsden
Re: We need a divorce!
« Reply #9 on: March 25, 2009, 12:35:40 AM »
eddy was blathering on fox tonight.  they can keep murtha, and franks too. 

check this out.  an award for murtha from my navy!!  it's enough to make me want to regurgitate.

http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/33103_Rescind_John_Murthas_Award_from_the_Navy

Thanks KathyP, I signed the petition.  Now I know I'm on the watch list.
Life is a school.  What have you learned?   :brian:      The greatest danger to our society is apathy, vote in every election!

Offline irerob

  • House Bee
  • **
  • Posts: 164
  • Gender: Male
Re: We need a divorce!
« Reply #10 on: March 25, 2009, 12:48:28 AM »
 X:X X:X X:X  standing ovation for that letter!!!!
  and thanks Kathy for bringing that to our attention.
You don't need a parachute to sky dive.... you do how ever need one to sky dive twice.
 KJ4QMH.

Offline dpence

  • Field Bee
  • ***
  • Posts: 672
  • Gender: Male
Re: We need a divorce!
« Reply #11 on: March 25, 2009, 02:23:09 AM »
Indeed X:X

David

Offline TwT

  • Senior Forum
  • Global Moderator
  • Galactic Bee
  • *****
  • Posts: 3384
  • Ted
Re: We need a divorce!
« Reply #12 on: March 25, 2009, 06:01:37 AM »
that is very good, if only  :roll:
THAT's ME TO THE LEFT JUST 5 YEARS FROM NOW!!!!!!!!

Never be afraid to try something new.
Amateurs built the ark,
Professionals built the Titanic

Offline 1reb

  • Super Bee
  • *****
  • Posts: 1698
  • Gender: Male
Re: We need a divorce!
« Reply #13 on: March 25, 2009, 10:18:03 AM »
 :evil:

Offline reinbeau

  • Super Bee
  • *****
  • Posts: 2502
  • Gender: Female
Re: We need a divorce!
« Reply #14 on: March 25, 2009, 02:11:32 PM »
eddy was blathering on fox tonight.  they can keep murtha, and franks too. 

check this out.  an award for murtha from my navy!!  it's enough to make me want to regurgitate.

http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/33103_Rescind_John_Murthas_Award_from_the_Navy
Here ya go, Kathy, I hope you feel better soon   :evil:

I'm signing the petition, too, although I often wonder if internet petitions do anything at all.....

- Ann, A Gardening Beek -  ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

Click for Hanson, Massachusetts Forecast" border="0" height="150" width="256

Offline kathyp

  • Universal Bee
  • *******
  • Posts: 15488
  • Gender: Female
Re: We need a divorce!
« Reply #15 on: March 25, 2009, 02:16:32 PM »
this one might.  it has made the news and if you read the signers, there are some known people signing it.  as soon as the word was out, it spread like wild fire through the military community.  especially the navy and marine corps.
.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville

 

anything