About 20 years ago we spent 6 weeks in Ontario and BC on holiday over the Christmas period. Following are some of the observations I made. None of us, controller of spending, kids or I had been in snow and it was truly beautiful… but it was all in black and white! No colour! Hey if I wanted black and white TV I would have kept my little 19”er from the 60’s… can’t you guys do something about updating that?
Then, it was cold.. down to –35, real brass monkey weather. I near had to tie a line to the weener to locate him each time I had to go to the bathroom. And all the clothes you have to wear just to keep warm… no wonder you look like well built lumberjacks with all those layers on… what a lie.. you guys are as skinny as we are.. as well it takes you 10 minutes to get dressed to go and put the garbage out and then another 10 minutes to get back to normal once back inside with the central heating. A 2 minute job takes 20 minutes plus some. No wonder I like it here… an amble out in my jocks, dump the garbage, water the garden and have a chat to the next door neighbour in her bikini all the while sucking on a beer… great stuff… hell the beer would freeze and loose all its bubbles if I tried that over there with you guys.. and of course the neighbour would get goose bumps... now that would be worth seeing.
What about the great deep freezer you guys have.. just plonk the left overs on the garage floor and there she is… snap frozen… now that is one thing I cant do here… just have to go and use a proper deep freeze, the kind that you buy… hey I bet yours is pretty good for holding frames over for next season and for getting rid of the SHB and wax moth… I am green with envy
But then I am not keen on having the water pipes freeze or having to plug the car battery in when I park so that I can drive away 10 minutes later and I can’t say I liked all that slushy stuff on the sidewalk that makes you slip around for 10 minutes and go A over T every time you have to cross the street… no wonder you guys walk funny and worry about cabin fever.. all those deadly activities you have to deal with once you leave home…. Phew!!
And I didn’t know you guys were so protective of the polar bear when you go fishing… you know cut a hole in the ice, sprinkle peas around the hole and when the bear comes down to have a pee you kick him in the icehole ha ha. Talking about bears, wow they are big suckers. No wonder you have to hide your hives from them… give me a hoard of marauding wombats any day. They are quite harmless.. just like travelling a salesman.. eats, roots and leaves.. ha!
No wonder you guys like spring… put away the old black and white TV, get all that slushy stuff off the sidewalk and wake the bears up from their lethargy… puts a bit of excitement back into your life doesn’t it.. gives you a bit of a pep up. But I can’t imagine you getting excited about the fall… hell, here comes winter again, rake up all those leaves, get out the old snow plough or whatever, sharpen the shovel, here we go again… dig out the long johns and stoke up the boiler.. yep it sure is great to have seasons.. at least more than 2.
Of course all this is said tongue in cheek. We have 4 seasons too and our deep south also gets a heap of that white stuff, but up were I live it is just BEAUTIFUL ONE DAY, PERFECT THE NEXT… that is if we didn’t have to deal with the snakes, the crocs, the dingoes, the sharks, the cyclones, the travelling salesmen…..