It takes practice and gets a little easier although I still can't find them all the time myself nor can anyone else-- I think :-D.
Go to MB's web page, I believe he has a section on tips for spotting a queen along with lots of other helpful stuff!
Queen spotting: http://www.bushfarms.com/beesqueenspotting.htm
Other stuff: http://www.bushfarms.com/bees.htm
Geeze what a website ---- Thanks again MB!!!
If you were splitting from scratch no queen cells involve you could split it walk away and come back in a few and check both for eggs. The one with eggs has the queen.
Having the queen cell and not knowing the timing may cause a queen to hatch and the queen be in the nuc also if you are not sure.
How many boxes does the hive have. Split it on different boards if you can. Leave a while and then check the boxes as the force will be divided and easier to spot the queen. Often the box with the queen will be calmer and the one without will have a slight roar.
Some folks use an excluder on top of an empty or another box and shake the bees through it and the queen will not go through the excluder. I have never tried this.
Of course this is weather dependent, since I see you are Hopelessly Lost. Update file so folks can tell where you are from and therefore maybe give local advice :-D. Since you have this much activity Drones, swarm cells etc. I assume you are in a fairly warm area. But we know about assume :-D!
You will probably get some much better ideas on how to handle your situation, but I hoped this help some if in no way except support ;). Keep posted.