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Author Topic: Grandparents  (Read 817 times)
iddee
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« on: February 23, 2009, 11:18:34 AM »

Am sure some of you have seen these but for those who haven't-enjoy. For those who have--enjoy them again-some are new

 

 
Being a Grandparent...
 
1. She was in the bathroom putting on her makeup under the watchful
eyes of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times before.
After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one
said, 'But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!'
I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye...
 
2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.
He asked me how old I  was and I told him, '62.'  He was quiet for
a moment and  then he asked, 'Did you start at 1?'
 
3.  After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her  hair.
As she heard the children getting more and more  rambunctious, her
patience grew thin.  Finally, she threw a  towel around her head and
stormed into their room, putting them  back to bed with stern
warnings.  As she left the room, she  heard the three-year-old say
with a trembling voice, 'Who was  THAT?'
 
4. A grandmother was telling her little  granddaughter what her own
childhood was like: 'We used to skate  outside on a pond.  I had a
swing made from a tire; it hung  from a tree in our front yard.  We
rode our pony.  We  picked wild raspberries in the woods.'  The little
girl  was wide-eyed, taking this all in.  At last she said,  'I sure
wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!'
 
5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, 'Grandma, do you
know how you and God are alike?'  I mentally polished my halo and I
said, 'No, how are we alike?''  You're both old,' he replied.
 
6. A little girl  was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's
word  processor.  She told him she was writing a story.   'What's
it about?' he asked. 'I don't know,' she replied.   'I can't  read.
 
7. I didn't know if my  granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
decided to test  her.  I would point out something and ask what color
it  was.  She would tell me and was always correct.  It  was fun for
me, so I continued.  At last she headed for the  door, saying,
'Grandma, I think you should try to figure out  some of these
yourself!'
 
8. When my grandson, Billy, and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky
insects.  Still, a few fireflies followed us in.   Noticing them
before I did, Billy whispered, 'It's no use, Grandpa.  Now the
mosquitoes are coming after us with  flashlights.'
 
9. When my grandson asked me how  old I was, I teasingly replied,
'I'm not sure.'  'Look in  your underwear, Grandpa,' he advised.
'Mine says  I'm four to six.'
 
10. A second grader  came home from school and said to her
grandmother, 'Grandma,  guess what?  We learned how to make babies
today.'   The grandmother, more than a little  surprised, tried to
keep her cool.  'That's interesting,'  she said, 'how do
you make babies? ''It's simple,' replied the  girl. 'You just
change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'.'
 
11. Children's Logic: 'Give me a sentence about a public
servant,' said a teacher.  The small boy wrote: 'The fireman came down the
ladder pregnant.'  The teacher took  the lad  aside to correct him.  'Don't you know
what pregnant means?' she asked.  'Sure,' said the young boy
confidently. 'It means carrying a child.'
 
12. A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full  of
kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.   Sitting in the
front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian  dog.  The children started
discussing the dog's  duties.  'They use him to keep crowds
back,' said one  child.  'No,' said another, 'He's just for good
luck.'  A third child brought the argument to a  close.  'They use the
dogs,' she said firmly, 'to find the  fire hydrants.'
  
 WHAT IS A  GRANDPARENT?
 
(Taken from papers written by a class of  8-year-olds)
 
 Grandparents are a lady and a man who have  no little children of
 their own.  They like other  people's.  A grandfather is a man and a
 grandmother is a  lady!  Grandparents don't have to do anything except
 be  there when we come to see  them.  They are so old  they shouldn't
 play hard or run.  It is good if they drive  us to the shops and give
 us money.  When they  take us for walks, they slow down past things
 like pretty leaves  and caterpillars.
 
They show us and talk to us about the  colors of the flowers and also
why we shouldn't step  on  'cracks.' They don't say,
'Hurry up.'
 
Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.
 
They wear glasses and funny underwear.  They can take their teeth and gums out.
 
Grandparents don't have to be smart.
 
They have to  answer questions like 'Why isn't God married?'
and 'How come  dogs chase cats?' When they read to us, they don't  skip.
They don't mind if we ask for the same story over  again.
 
Everybody should try to have a grandmother,  especially if you don't
have television because they are the  only grownups who like to spend
time with us.
 
They know we should have snack time before bed time, and they  say
prayers with us and kiss us even when we've acted  bad.
 
 
 
A 6-YEAR-OLD WAS ASKED WHERE HIS GRANDMA  LIVED.  ''OH,''
HE SAID, ''SHE LIVES AT THE AIRPORT AND  WHEN WE WANT HER, WE JUST GO GET HER.
THEN WHEN WE'RE DONE  HAVING HER VISIT, WE TAKE HER BACK TO THE AIRPORT.''
 
GRANDPA IS THE SMARTEST MAN ON EARTH! HE TEACHES ME  GOOD THINGS,
BUT I DON'T GET TO SEE HIM ENOUGH TO GET AS SMART AS HIM!
 
It's funny when they bend over; you hear gas leaks and they blame
their dog.
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"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*
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« Reply #1 on: February 23, 2009, 12:03:33 PM »

Great Stuff!! bee bee bee
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adgjoan
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« Reply #2 on: February 25, 2009, 05:43:25 AM »

The other day my sister was clipping our elderly mother's toe nails while my 5 year old nephew watched.  He said "Grandma, your toes nails are the ugliest thing on you".  LOL
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poka-bee
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« Reply #3 on: February 25, 2009, 11:37:41 AM »

That was so cute, thank you for posting!  The sayings about time are so true, many parents are not able to give kids what they really need..time! It will be fun to be a Grandparent to see what your Grandchildren say about you!  J
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