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Author Topic: Wanted,Roadkill  (Read 695 times)
JP
The Swarm King
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« on: February 07, 2009, 08:05:58 AM »

Couldn't help but think of my forum friends when I read this, and yes I've been there! Bon apetite!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2009-01-20, 3:57PM EST
As seen on Best of craigslist


I want your roadkill. Why, might you ask? Simple. I drive around and regularly see 1-2 deer a week on the side of the road, rotting. Since an average deer has about 80-120 pounds of usable venison on it, its a shame that all that meat is wasted. Plus, you can't normally buy venison, so unless you have a hunting friend or hunt yourself (or pay crazy prices at a restaurant), you can never enjoy the lean, tasty meat that is venison.

So, here's my offer. If you happen to hit a deer (or larger animal, although I don't think we have many of those in southern Virginia), you can bring the animal to me, and I'll carve it up for you, and split the meat 50/50. I hunt, and I do my own butchering, so it doesn't take too long for me, and I enjoy it. Since hunting season is now passed, I'd like something to occupy my time, while also filling my freezer.

There are rules though, like anything else in life:
1. It has to be a deer or bigger. I'm not carving up a flat squirrel for you.
2. It must be less than a day old. God only knows what happens to the carcass after a day of sitting there.
3. You have to call the police after your accident. The cops come out and issue you a permit so that you legally own the deer. It's quick, and it keeps it legal (I'm not carving up poached animals, and if you poach, you should rid the world of your sorry existence).
4. You bring the animal to me (I'm in Suffolk), and I do the rest, and call you when its done. If you live in Suffolk, or hit the deer in Suffolk, I could come to you, but I'm not driving to VA Beach at 10 pm at night.
5. I'll cut up the animal and give half the meat to you in sealed bags. I'll even label it, so you'll know what cuts you're getting. You eat it and enjoy!

Of course, you may feel odd eating roadkill. I mean, that's a redneck thing, right? Absolutely untrue. For starters, you're using meat that would normally be wasted, so its good for the environment. Venison is leaner (deer don't sit on big farms eating corn), healthier (no injected hormones here!), and tastier (there is no such thing as "gamey" meat. That's just anti-hunters trying to justify themselves) than beef. Plus, you get it for nothing (except whatever your car insurance deductible is, if you decide to file a claim). All these positive reasons are sure to impress your hippie friends, if you are unfortunate enough to have some.

Drop me an email (I check it all the time, so replies won't take long) when you hit a deer. If you're a police officer and want my phone number (since you probably get calls all the time), you can email me and I'll give you my cell number. If its late, you can always temporarily store the animal at your house and bring it over when I get back to you.

Start enjoying the meat of your unfortunate labors!




...JP
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KONASDAD
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« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2009, 10:45:36 AM »

Some states use the meat for the food banks....
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kathyp
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« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2009, 11:07:56 AM »

some state  you can't take them.  no hunting license or out of season, you just have to leave your road kill.  seems a waste to me.

i have a very old cookbook that tells how to cook certain things depending on age of animal and kind of kill.  it includes road kill.
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.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

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Brian D. Bray
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« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2009, 10:03:57 PM »

Some states use the meat for the food banks....

In Washington the meat goes to feed incarcerated folk....the county jail and state prisons.
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