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Author Topic: Living in Washington, Jeff Foxworthy style  (Read 6995 times)

Offline Brian D. Bray

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Living in Washington, Jeff Foxworthy style
« on: February 06, 2009, 11:04:55 PM »
THIS IS WHAT JEFF FOXWORTHY HAS TO SAY ABOUT LIVING IN WASHINGTON STATE:


If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Washington.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Washington.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Washington.

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Washington.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Washington.

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'a/C' and back again in the same day, you live in Washington.

If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both doors unlocked, you live in Washington.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Central, Southern or Eastern Washington.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over 8 layers of clothes, you live in Washington.

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80, and everyone is still passing you, you live in Washington.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow and ice, you live in Washington.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Washington.

If you actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your WASHINGTON friends, you live or have lived in Washington.
=
To Which I'll Add:

If you can Swim in the Ocean and Ski in the Mountains on the Same day, you live in Washington.

If you know you're house can't get washed away during a flood, you must live on an Island in Washington.

If you know that Potlach and Potluck are kinda the same thing you must live in Washington.

If you think that mountain in Georgia is just a small hill, you must be from Washington.

If you don't call it a mountain unless it has a Glazier on it all year long, then you're probably from Washington (or Oregon).

If you wear socks with your sandals, you must live in Washington.

« Last Edit: February 07, 2009, 12:03:29 AM by Brian D. Bray »
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Offline Jerrymac

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Re: Living in Washington, Jeff Foxworthy style
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2009, 04:04:10 AM »
Many years ago someone called the house. My dad answered. It was one of his uncles. They talked for awhile and finally someone mentioned a family member that the other didn't have in the family. So they back tracked a bit and found out they weren't related at all. After talking for thirty minutes.  :shock:


I was on the North side of Salt Lake City, Utah doing 80mph and cars were whizzing past me. A cop had someone pulled over..... perhaps they were going too slow  :shock:
:rainbowflower:  Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.   :rainbowflower:

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Offline Irwin

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Re: Living in Washington, Jeff Foxworthy style
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2009, 10:38:20 AM »
If you wait till the end of a passing lane to pass you must be from Washington :-D
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Offline Bobb

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Re: Living in Washington, Jeff Foxworthy style
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2009, 11:43:12 PM »
If you look like an albino prune; you could be from Washington
"Power, especially overgrown power, whets the ambition and sets all the wits to work to enlarge it. Therefore, encroachments on peoples liberties are not generally made all at once, but so gradually as hardly to be perceived by the less watchful; and all plastered over, it may be, with such plausible pretenses, that before they are aware of the snare, they are taken and can not disentangle themselves."

Samuel Webster
Massachusetts 1777

Offline Brian D. Bray

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Re: Living in Washington, Jeff Foxworthy style
« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2009, 11:56:04 PM »
If you know the difference between a Wood Duck and a Geoduck, you're from Washington.
Life is a school.  What have you learned?   :brian:      The greatest danger to our society is apathy, vote in every election!

 

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