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Author Topic: State Jokes......  (Read 3126 times)
BjornBee
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« on: January 12, 2009, 08:25:03 PM »

Thought a thread aimed at jokes pertaining to individual states would be good. If you add to the list, mention the state first then the joke. Like this....

MISSISSIPPI:

How do you know your staying in a Mississipppi hotel? When you call the front desk and say " I've gotta leak in the sink" and the person at the front desk says "Go ahead!".  shocked



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« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2009, 10:29:40 PM »

awwww and the pot is steering  evil  tongue
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Brian D. Bray
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« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2009, 10:33:00 PM »

Washington:

The state where Goeduck hunters do it with a shovel. Cindi

We know the difference between salt water and rocky mountain oysters. jaw drop

« Last Edit: January 13, 2009, 09:54:07 PM by Brian D. Bray » Logged

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Jerrymac
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« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2009, 11:21:51 PM »

I guess you have to split it up to read salt water. Revised as things have changed.
« Last Edit: January 13, 2009, 11:11:15 PM by Jerrymac » Logged

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BjornBee
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« Reply #4 on: January 13, 2009, 06:19:12 AM »

I'll stick with Mississippi for another (I used to live there)  Wink

Anyone know what a Mississippi search warrant is?

It's when two cops go to a house. One goes to the front door, the other to the back door. The cop at the front door knocks, and the cop at the back door yells "Come on in!"
« Last Edit: January 13, 2009, 12:43:16 PM by BjornBee » Logged

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Keith13
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« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2009, 08:54:19 AM »

OK I am from Louisiana so naturally no one can make fun of us rolleyes

Anyway another Mississippi joke

How do you get an Ole Miss Graduate off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza lau lau lau

Keith
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« Reply #6 on: January 13, 2009, 02:42:34 PM »

Jerry:

Concidar THIS your first warning for going around our WORD FILTER - Personally Salted Water offends some members and others have phobias, and you took it into your own hands to see it was posted any way. That is one strike! Next you'll want to talkabout Alfred Hitcock Movies, I think I'm gonna puke!

catch chick   this is beemaster getting caught in the looney net           

drowning     this is the poor person subjected to salted water thank s to Jerrymac.


YOU DECIDE!
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« Reply #7 on: January 13, 2009, 03:10:31 PM »

There is a fun you can have (a game for the members let's say) where a word, maybe not to common, but one that will turn up eventually is CHANGED in the word filter to another word. The person posting CANNOT PLAY nor should they give away the word to other members. The replacement alone should be easy enough to point out when the word occurs.

Back in the Early Days, I had my first moderator, who is rather successful in many other forums (good for him, but here he was a backstabber to me and the forum) I had enough of him and personally dug in and replaced a word (it shall remain nameless, although some of you will remember this) with the term "Steaming pile of dog pooh!" that is an exact quote, not filtered.

Well, it enraged him, which was the point - I had received over 2 dozen pms from members showing that this moderator was performing a coup or takeover, more of a mutany where he would divide and go off with as many members as he could, showing that we were not strong enough here to stand as one.

To this day, I assume that EVERYONE he tried to band with turned him into me, and my retaliation was the switching of the words in the filter, I knew HE used the primary word frequently, hated if anyone else used the word in a negative way and I had a little fun - it took about 3 days before he figured it out and when he complained I confronted him with the evidence and the remaining moderators agreed that he had 24 hours before banning - a fair time to allow him to say any parting goodbyes or (knowing him) ask in public for the first time for others to mutany and leave. No one but him left and all was well in the land of Beemaster Forums.

So, BACK TO THE GAME. I will post, maybe this afternoon (after I figure a good word) that we have a FORUM GAME where the members need to find WHICH WORD (a common and allowed word) that has been switched with another word with SIMILAR MEANING.

It will NOT be easy, but I will have a gift of value for the Winner, something every beekeeper would enjoy having - I know what the gift is, but will not share. So, no words have been changed yet, the game will not begin until posted in COFFEEHOUSE, but it will start soon - good luck to all players and remember, the original poster or replier who finds the word replaced cannot place and should not share the word with others.

How does this sound for a game?

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Jerrymac
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« Reply #8 on: January 13, 2009, 03:40:20 PM »

Jerry:
Concidar THIS your first warning for going around our WORD FILTER


                                 
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Brian D. Bray
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« Reply #9 on: January 13, 2009, 10:07:29 PM »

John, in fairness to Jerrymac I figured it out and made the change because when I came to the post and noted the bleep in my posting I modified it before even looking at the next post. 

So my question here is, does the warning apply to me too?  After all I was the one with the bleeped post and I figured out how to correct it. 

Or does figuring out how to correct a bleep work as a credit instead of a demerit?

Personally, I think that's applying the rules a little too strickly.  I guess I'll just have to use the preview function a tad more prior to posting.

But, I understand the need for a filter and support it's use as a clean forum is much nicer to read and be a part of than one poxed with constant verbal flaming.  Afterall it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that rooster works in place of bleeper and modify their posts.
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« Reply #10 on: January 13, 2009, 10:19:46 PM »

Brian:

I do hope you know I was jking with Jerry - many times the censor has caught me off guard and there is a feature I can click to JUST catch the word when it is posted alone and not when in the middle of a group of words - I will admit I just found that out today, so I'll be initializing it when I get back in the admin panel.

No needs to worry, I was getting a bit worried when Jerry was SPELLING OUT the hieen offensive word, but it was done in a simi spacious way - nothing to sweat at all, totally meant in fun.

No.... the word censor is not perfect, it is just a FRONT LINE DEFENSE to trouble, it gives us time to react when being here 24/7 is impossible. The inconvienience is worth the protection it differs, even if some disagree.

Now if they came up with a spell check that automatically repaired my epileptic typing, honestly - I find now as my frontal lobe is either spasing or the medication is numbing it, I often type the same letter 3 or 4 times in a row in the same word, or enter a wrong tense, whether past present or future. It is frustraiting and keeping me from typing long posts these days.

The regular word check isn't much help when it looks like you hiccuped in the middle of typing every third or fouth word. Such is life, I know you have many many issues that mine pale in comparison to - just filling you all in as I fight to be the writer I have always thought was my one true gift.



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1frozenhillbilly
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« Reply #11 on: January 14, 2009, 02:59:05 AM »

hmmmm
the game sounds like fun
i'll hafta look up my old texans lost in alaska jokes and see if any of them will make it past the filter without having to manipulate em
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Jerrymac
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« Reply #12 on: January 14, 2009, 03:48:40 AM »

Do you know why the wind blows in West Texas?


Cause Oklahoma sucks.  shocked
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« Reply #13 on: January 14, 2009, 09:51:51 AM »

wow jerry two states in one joke showoff  lau
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vegetarian???  isnt green stuff for growing meat?
Jerrymac
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« Reply #14 on: January 14, 2009, 11:08:30 AM »




                                  Jerry
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« Reply #15 on: January 14, 2009, 02:27:29 PM »

Well Whytt Urp, let's see how fast them shooting weapons you carrys in your gun belt when I ever get the other words done. It will be fun, but I need to announce it well - don't want people incorrectly quoted or an incovience to all. Remember though, you can also check everyone else's posts for possible replaced words, it's a good reason to read more posts  evil bwahahaaaaa.
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BjornBee
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« Reply #16 on: January 14, 2009, 09:38:45 PM »

IOWA:

What do they call 100 John Deeres circling a McDonald's in Iowa?

Prom Night!
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beemaster
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« Reply #17 on: January 15, 2009, 09:15:59 AM »

I liked that BJorn Smiley
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Brian D. Bray
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« Reply #18 on: January 15, 2009, 07:36:54 PM »

We can also reprise some of those old didies about the states:

What did Delaware, She wore a brand New Jersey.

How did Florada (die), she swallowed a Newbraska (key).

And so on. 

Wisconsin is sometimes called the Dairy State, the state sport is cow tipping.
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« Reply #19 on: January 16, 2009, 09:00:29 PM »

Where do midgets come from???

Someone knocks the poop out of a Texan.
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