Christmas cookies

[kathyp]

 
1 cup of dark brown sugar
1 cup (2 sticks) butter
1 cup of granulated sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups of dried fruit, such as dried cranberries or raisins
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 tsp fresh lemon juice
1 cup coarsely chopped walnuts or pecans
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila (silver or gold, as desired)
 
Sample the Cuervo to check quality.
 
Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the
highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Turn on the electric
mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
 
Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make
sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup just in case.
 
Turn off the mixerer thing. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck
in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor.
 
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterer just
pry it loose with a drewscriver.
 
Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.
 
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Check the Jose Cuervo.
 
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a
spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
 
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
 
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
 
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and
make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
***** Cherry Mistmas ******
 
  
  
 

[rast]

 My coookie dough shtuft is on the sheeling an floor. Stupid mixsher thing.

[poka-bee]

Mine are made with Spiced Rum!   J

[BjornBee]

Hey, Don't waste those other ingredients. Put that bottle to some good use and get another drunk. 

That stick of butter, the brown sugar, and that fruit, could all lead to a recipe for some great holiday memories if you know how to whip up the correct recipe... 

[poka-bee]

Hey, Don't waste those other ingredients. Put that bottle to some good use and get another drunk. 

That stick of butter, the brown sugar, and that fruit, could all lead to a recipe for some great holiday memories if you know how to whip up the correct recipe... 

Oh, you are a naughty one too! Let us know how great the memories are after a bottle of tequila..well, how bout the last memory?   Bet it's of your new best friend & hope you have indoor plumbing!   J

[1reb]

 

[Jerrymac]

I never understood the problems people talk about. I would drink everybody under the table, never pass out, and remember everything that happened. I once got in a chugging contest with the boss's wife. She thought she was something special in the drinking department. I handed her my bottle of 108 proof "Fighting C***" (that's rooster for the bleep department) she took a couple of swallows and gave it up. I turned the bottle up and started chugging. Told my self I should stop before I killed myself at about swallow #8. That was it. No more challenges. Later on Jose Cuervo was my favorite. Never understood the salt and lime/lemon. I just turn the bottle up and drink it down.

I had this sister-in-law that told me she would rather ride in the car with me when I was drunk than when I was sober. My sober driving scared her silly.