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Keith13
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« on: December 17, 2008, 11:44:06 AM » |
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SOUTHERNERS
This is hysterical!
Three Southerners and three Yankees
One morning, three Southerners and three Yankees were in a ticket
counter line at a train station. The three Northerners each bought a
ticket and watched as the three Southerners bought just one ticket.
'How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?' asked
one of the Yankees.
'Watch and learn,' answered one of the boys from the South.
All six boarded the train where the three Yankees sat down, but the
three Southerners crammed into a toilet together and closed the
door.
Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around to
collect tickets.
He knocked on the toilet door and said, 'Ticket, please.' The door
opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand.
The conductor took it and moved on.
The Yankees saw this happen and agreed it wa s quite a clever idea.
Indeed, so clever they decided to do th e same thing on the return
trip and save some money.
That afternoon when they got back to the station, they bought a
single ticket for the return trip and watched, while to their astonishment,
the three Southerners didn't buy even one ticket.
'How are you going to travel without a ticket?' asked one of the
perplexed Yankees.
'Watch and learn,' answered the three Southern boys in unison.
When they boarded the train, the three Northerners crammed
themselves into a toilet and the three Southerners crammed into
another toilet just down the way.
Shortly after the train began to move, one of the Southerners left
their toilet and walked over to the toilet in which the Yankees were
hiding.
The Southerner knocked on the door and said, 'Ticket, please.'
Keith
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kathyp
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« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2008, 02:09:20 PM » |
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that is great!!!  |
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"What has destroyed liberty and the rights of man in every
government which has ever existed under the sun? The generalizing
and concentrating all cares and powers into one body, no matter
whether of the autocrats of Russia or France, or of the
aristocrats of a Venetian Senate." --Thomas Jefferson to Joseph C.
Cabell, 1816.
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JP
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« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2008, 07:06:58 PM » |
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Bahahahahahaahahahaahahaahahahaahah!
...JP
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Big John
House Bee
 Offline
Gender: 
Posts: 114
Location: Greenup Co., Kentucky
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« Reply #3 on: December 18, 2008, 02:03:38 PM » |
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Good one, someone is getting a good lesson.
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"Semper Fi"
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BjornBee
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« Reply #4 on: December 18, 2008, 03:50:58 PM » |
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Three guys in a bathroom, getting freebies.....yeah, it's a southern thing.... |
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JP
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« Reply #5 on: December 18, 2008, 07:55:19 PM » |
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Three guys in a bathroom, getting freebies.....yeah, it's a southern thing.... Your mind is warped, get it outta the toilet! ...JP |
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Brian D. Bray
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« Reply #6 on: December 18, 2008, 08:52:12 PM » |
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Three guys in a bathroom, getting freebies.....yeah, it's a southern thing.... Your mind is warped, get it outta the toilet! ...JP I think his mind has sunk to the level of the basement in my outhouse. |
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Life is a school. What have you learned?  The greatest danger to our society is apathy, vote in every election! |
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Jerrymac
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« Reply #7 on: December 18, 2008, 09:15:45 PM » |
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Holy crap! If this keeps up we'll have to flush this thread.
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JP
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« Reply #8 on: December 18, 2008, 09:29:28 PM » |
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Time to call the honeywagon.
...JP
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iddee
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« Reply #9 on: January 16, 2009, 09:26:27 PM » |
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Speaking of the honey wagon.........
A group of soldiers in Nam were sitting in an off limits bar when the MP's came in the front door. They all lit out the back door, across the rice paddies, with the MP's in hot pursuit.
One soldier dropped off into a honey hole, up to his neck. Hollowing for help brought the MPs to the side of the hole, where one looked down and said:
Soldier, You just escaped.
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"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"
*Shel Silverstein*
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1reb
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« Reply #10 on: January 17, 2009, 08:38:58 PM » |
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1reb
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« Reply #11 on: January 17, 2009, 08:52:51 PM » |
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Brian D. Bray
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« Reply #12 on: January 23, 2009, 09:30:27 PM » |
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Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America ,
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians
will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.'
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .
And furthermore
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
' BREASTED AMERICAN.'
2. She is not 'EASY' - She is
'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'
3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'
4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'
5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'
6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a
' LOW COST PROVIDER.'
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'
2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is
' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'
3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'
4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'
5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'
6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's
'REAR CLEAVAGE.'
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Life is a school. What have you learned? The greatest danger to our society is apathy, vote in every election! |
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