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Author Topic: southerners  (Read 2272 times)

Offline Keith13

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southerners
« on: December 17, 2008, 12:44:06 PM »
 SOUTHERNERS

This is hysterical!
 
Three Southerners and three Yankees
 
One morning, three Southerners and three Yankees were in a ticket
counter line at a train station. The three Northerners each bought a
ticket and watched as the three Southerners bought just one ticket.
 
'How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?' asked

one of the Yankees.
 
'Watch and learn,' answered one of the boys from the South.


All six boarded the train where the three Yankees sat down, but the
three Southerners crammed into a toilet together and closed the

door.
 
Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around to

collect tickets.
 
He knocked on the toilet door and said, 'Ticket, please.' The door
opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand.

The  conductor took it and moved on.
 
The Yankees saw this happen and agreed it wa s quite a clever idea.
Indeed, so clever they decided to do th e same thing on the return

trip and save some money.
 
That afternoon when they got back to the station, they bought a

single ticket for the return trip and watched, while to their astonishment,

the three Southerners didn't buy even one ticket.
 
'How are you going to travel without a ticket?' asked one of the
perplexed Yankees.
 
'Watch and learn,' answered the three Southern boys in unison.
 
When they boarded the train, the three Northerners  crammed

themselves into a toilet and the three Southerners crammed into
another toilet just down the way.


Shortly after the train began to move, one of the Southerners left

their toilet and walked over to the toilet in which the Yankees were

hiding.
 
The Southerner knocked on the door and said, 'Ticket, please.'
 


Keith

Online kathyp

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Re: southerners
« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2008, 03:09:20 PM »
that is great!!!   :-D
.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville

Offline JP

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Re: southerners
« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2008, 08:06:58 PM »
Bahahahahahaahahahaahahaahahahaahah!


...JP
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Offline Big John

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Re: southerners
« Reply #3 on: December 18, 2008, 03:03:38 PM »
Good one, someone is getting a good lesson.
"Semper Fi"

Offline BjornBee

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Re: southerners
« Reply #4 on: December 18, 2008, 04:50:58 PM »
Three guys in a bathroom, getting freebies.....yeah, it's a southern thing.... :-D
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Offline JP

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Re: southerners
« Reply #5 on: December 18, 2008, 08:55:19 PM »
Three guys in a bathroom, getting freebies.....yeah, it's a southern thing.... :-D

Your mind is warped, get it outta the toilet!


...JP
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Offline Brian D. Bray

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Re: southerners
« Reply #6 on: December 18, 2008, 09:52:12 PM »
Three guys in a bathroom, getting freebies.....yeah, it's a southern thing.... :-D

Your mind is warped, get it outta the toilet!


...JP

I think his mind has sunk to the level of the basement in my outhouse.
Life is a school.  What have you learned?   :brian:      The greatest danger to our society is apathy, vote in every election!

Offline Jerrymac

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Re: southerners
« Reply #7 on: December 18, 2008, 10:15:45 PM »
Holy crap! If this keeps up we'll have to flush this thread.
:rainbowflower:  Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.   :rainbowflower:

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Offline JP

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Re: southerners
« Reply #8 on: December 18, 2008, 10:29:28 PM »
Time to call the honeywagon.


...JP
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Offline iddee

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Re: southerners
« Reply #9 on: January 16, 2009, 10:26:27 PM »
Speaking of the honey wagon.........

A group of soldiers in Nam were sitting in an off limits bar when the MP's came in the front door. They all lit out the back door, across the rice paddies, with the MP's in hot pursuit.

One soldier dropped off into a honey hole, up to his neck. Hollowing for help brought the MPs to the side of the hole, where one looked down and said:

Soldier, You just escaped.
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

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Offline 1reb

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Re: southerners
« Reply #10 on: January 17, 2009, 09:38:58 PM »
 :lau:

Offline 1reb

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Re: southerners
« Reply #11 on: January 17, 2009, 09:52:51 PM »
 :lau:

Offline Brian D. Bray

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Re: southerners
« Reply #12 on: January 23, 2009, 10:30:27 PM »
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America ,

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians
will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.'
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .

And furthermore

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
' BREASTED AMERICAN.'

2. She is not 'EASY' - She is
'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a
' LOW COST PROVIDER.'

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is
' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'


6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's
'REAR CLEAVAGE.'
Life is a school.  What have you learned?   :brian:      The greatest danger to our society is apathy, vote in every election!

 

anything