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Author Topic: This was a Fun read  (Read 2433 times)
renmag
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« on: November 09, 2008, 09:56:16 PM »

Got a chuckle upon reading this.
 Dear Red States:
>>
>>
>>
>>            We've decided we're leaving. We intend
>> to form our own country, and
>>
>>         we're taking the other Blue States with us. In
>> case you aren't aware,
>>
>>         that includes California , Hawaii , Oregon , Washington ,
>> Minnesota ,
>>
>>         Wisconsin, Michigan , Illinois and all the
>> Northeast. We believe
>>
>>         this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to
>> the
>>
>>         people of the new country of New California.
>>
>>
>>
>>             To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the
>> slave
>>
>>         states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get
>> the
>>
>>         Statue of Liberty . You get Dollywood. We get Intel and
>> Microsoft You
>>
>>         get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole'
>> Miss. We get 85 percent of
>>
>>         America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.
>> You get Alabama . We
>>
>>         get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red
>> states pay
>>
>>         their fair share.
>>
>>
>>
>>             Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than
>> the
>>
>>         Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families.
>> Please be
>>
>>         aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war,
>> and we're
>>
>>         going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you
>> need
>>
>>         people to fight, ask your evangelicals.
>>
>>
>>           With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm
>> control of 80 %
>>        of the country's fresh water, more than 90
>> percent of the pineapple
>>
>>         and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh
>> fruit, 95 percent of
>>
>>         America's quality wines (you can serve French
>> wines at state dinners)
>>
>>         90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high
>> tech industry, most
>>
>>         of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and
>>
>>         condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford,
>> Cal
>>
>>         Tech and MIT.
>>
>>
>>           With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to
>>
>>         cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their
>> projected
>>
>>         health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly
>> 100
>>
>>         percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99
>> percent
>>
>>         of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all
>> televangelists,
>>
>>         Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and
>> the
>>
>>         University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and
>> Yosemite, thank you.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>           Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red
>> states believe Jonah was
>>
>>         actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is
>> sacred
>>
>>         unless we're discussing the death penalty or
>> gun laws, 44 percent
>>
>>         say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent
>> that Saddam was
>>
>>         involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy
>> bastards believe you
>>
>>         are people with higher morals then we lefties.
>>
>>         Finally, we're taking the good pot, too.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>         Peace out,
>>
>>
>>
>>         Blue States
>>
>>
>>
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kathyp
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« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2008, 10:34:46 PM »

and they are welcome to go.  they may take congress and the  new prez with them.  it will be quite interesting to see how the veggie chomping Birkenstock crowd survives without real men and women.   evil

sincerely,
proud bitter clinger
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.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville
Brian D. Bray
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« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2008, 10:58:41 PM »

I guess all of us Independent Survivorlists will have to go to Alaska.
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« Reply #3 on: November 10, 2008, 06:37:03 AM »

Don'yt forget to take your murder capital cities,drugs and all that goes with it!! We will really miss that stuff!And we'll be sure that the breadbasket of America stays where it is.
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reinbeau
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« Reply #4 on: November 10, 2008, 07:00:19 AM »

and they are welcome to go.  they may take congress and the  new prez with them.  it will be quite interesting to see how the veggie chomping Birkenstock crowd survives without real men and women.   evil

sincerely,
proud bitter clinger
Couldn't agree more.  And I'm glad to see another calling herself a 'proud bitter clinger', I've been calling myself that in my head ever since this sorry election went down.
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BjornBee
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« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2008, 07:14:58 AM »

I guess grabbing my guns will not even be needed. I'll just bring a wet noodle, use some harsh words, and if a few of those survivalists want to tag along, we'll just push those antiwar, self-imposed elitists, right into the pacific.  grin

If you all join hands in California, we can make this as painless as possible and it will be a smooth transition. Just start heading west till you come to your senses.  Kiss
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kathyp
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« Reply #6 on: November 10, 2008, 08:55:20 AM »

reinbeau

you can get that in t-shirts and bumper stickers.   grin


renmag, do not be discouraged.  there are others like you here, but they have not been as active lately.  hang on.  they will be back.   Wink
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.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville
Irwin
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« Reply #7 on: November 10, 2008, 10:13:11 AM »

It is the big city's in Oregon that are blue Portland Salem and Eugene There populace is turning Oregon blue. I just had to say this so people out there would know that not all of Oregon is blue! It is hard for me to say what I want to because I'm not good with word's.
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kathyp
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« Reply #8 on: November 10, 2008, 10:40:39 AM »

excellent point irwin. the same is true of washington and california.  something happens to people when they cram together in cities.  or maybe, they cram together because we scare them into herds??   huh
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.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville
Irwin
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« Reply #9 on: November 10, 2008, 10:44:54 AM »

or maybe, they cram together because we scare them into herds??   

That must be it Kathy grin
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Jerrymac
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« Reply #10 on: November 10, 2008, 10:45:36 AM »

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Irwin
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« Reply #11 on: November 10, 2008, 10:56:54 AM »

That's it Jerrymac  grin Looks like portland OR don't mean to offend any beek's in portland They are a few good people there.
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poka-bee
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« Reply #12 on: November 10, 2008, 11:05:05 AM »

NAH..it's Seattle/King County! evil  Won't be long now till they are whining..They re-elected the WW of West as they whined bout the last 4 years..**sigh**rattle a little grain in a dish & they run right back in!!  J
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renmag
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« Reply #13 on: November 10, 2008, 11:33:42 AM »

Stop picking on me.  Cry Cry Cry Im just a tree hugging, granola eating, hair farmer, lover not a fighter from Santa Cruz!!!!!!!!!!
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Jerrymac
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« Reply #14 on: November 10, 2008, 01:25:34 PM »



We're not talking about you  grin


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Scadsobees
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« Reply #15 on: November 10, 2008, 01:41:07 PM »

You'll also get all of the smog.  And all the human digestion-produced smog from granola/bean-eating birkenstock wearing tree-huggers grin

There's a big chunk of all those states you'll be leaving behind, thanks.  But you are more than welcome to the East side of Michigan.  We have really wanted to get rid of that side for some time.  That is where all of our pollution comes from, ecological and political. evil

Rick
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Rick
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« Reply #16 on: November 10, 2008, 01:51:50 PM »

Quote
more than 90
>> percent of the pineapple
>>
>>         and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh
>> fruit, 95 percent of
>>
>>         America's quality wines (you can serve French
>> wines at state dinners)
>>
>>         90 percent of all cheese

Good luck with it, because most of the rest of the food is grown in the red states....
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Rick
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« Reply #17 on: November 10, 2008, 06:03:33 PM »

Stop picking on me.  Cry Cry Cry Im just a tree hugging, granola eating, hair farmer, lover not a fighter from Santa Cruz!!!!!!!!!!

And we still love ya anyhow!! grin grin

Just as it was a fun read,it's been quite a fun topic no matter what side your on.It was given in fun,so I took it all in fun!
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Jerrymac
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« Reply #18 on: November 10, 2008, 06:53:37 PM »



You don't want to disappear into the crowd do you?

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1reb
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« Reply #19 on: November 10, 2008, 07:17:10 PM »

you are right with the grain. Dont forget the chickens we have.

And Arkansas does have several winery
 
Chateau Aux Arc Vineyards and Winery
Mount Bethel Winery
Cowie Wine Cellars
Post Familie Vineyards
Kells Creek Winery
Wiederkehr Wine Cellars
Johnny

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reinbeau
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« Reply #20 on: November 10, 2008, 08:02:37 PM »

I gotta get me one of those Bitter Clinger bumperstickers!  Oh boy, a simple google search turns up the funniest things!  evil
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