Once again I find myself at odds with that government nightmare know as the TSA (Transportation Security Administration).
For those who don't know how much I despise the TSA please read this.
Well they did it again and this time I am not sure what the result will be.
I had to do a quick flight to Atlanta in one day out the next.
I flew out of PBI to ATL on Delta. The flight to ATL was uneventful. The work went pretty much as expected. The client is happy. I get up the next morning and trek back to ATL. Now when dealing with ATL the rule is get there early and expect to be frustrated. So I at the Delta check in with over an hour to go before my flight leaves. Now Delta has completely remodeled their ticket area. And implemented some new software on their kiosks. The basic rule is if you don't check in via a kiosk you will need at least 2 hours because the ticket counter is slow and barely manned. Now I wanted to change my seat when I checked in. The kiosk wouldn't let me. So I asked for some help from one of the staff there. With a noticable level of reluctance she approached and asked what was wrong. I explained the computer was failing to change my seat. She apologized rattled off about a new software system and told me I would have to change it when I got to the gate. Sigh.
So I check my bag which has all my tools. It is the same bag I check in all my flights. And running back and forth for quickie trips to ATL is a pretty common thing for me. I get to the gate I change my seat. I fly back to PBI and ask my wife if she can pick me up. She agrees to take her lunch break and pick me up as soon as I am ready. Now the routine is I get off plane go to the luggage carousel get my bag and meet my wife go home and grab the van and head to the next job. Now luggage can be slow coming off some times. This time however slow wasn't quite apt. It was like playing a record at 16. And when it stopped moving my blood pressure went up at warp speed. My tools are in that bag. Must control fists of death.
Now I go into the Delta baggage office and meet Mike C.. He is the Delta victim , I mean employee who will help me with my issue. I give Mike my baggage claim tag. He looks up some information in his computer and says your bag is coming in on a 3:25 flight. Now I have told my wife I will get a cab home because I have been waiting so long her lunch break is over. She is unhappy and I am about to become the human incarnation of Rage. I very politely ask Mike C. why my bag is coming in on a later flight when I arrived at the airport with plenty of time to spare. Now Mike C. in a nonchalant manner says my bag was confiscated by the TSA for further inspection. (please allow for a very dramatic pause here)
Excuse me, the TSA did what?
They held your bag.
Really? Any reason why?
No, but it will be in on the later flight.
I am suppose to have that bag so i can get some work done this afternoon. I can't do that now.
I am sorry but we can deliver the bag to you when it arrives.
So because the TSA delayed my bag you have to pick up the cost of the delivery of my bag?
Yes, the TSA does this on occasion and we have to eat it.
I could ask a question as to why the airlines put up with this but I will settle for having the bag delivered to my house please.
I give him my information
The bag will be delivered between 6pm and 10pm.
What do I do if the TSA has removed anything from my bag? I won't find out until the bag is delivered.
If you have any issues you will have to contact the TSA.
Now at this point I have steam coming off my head. My hands are holding such a tight fisted shape my blood isn't circulating properly. I firmly mention that there is no way to get a hold of the TSA.
They have an 800 number.
The morons who answer it are of no help. AS IS THE REST OF THE TSA. Please have the courier call me when he is bringing my bag.
I give him my cell.
Do you have another number?
I have a home phone but I want him to contact me on my cell please.
No problem, but a backup number is helpful.
So I give him the number.
So I take a cab home and I am going to the bee farm because the hives need looking at and I need to be much calmer before I contact my congressman.
I have informed Dallas that I am running for President. I have one platform only the utter destruction of the TSA. Knowing I will save the taxpayers millions. I am certain I will win. So please write in Brendhan for President. I am not concerned with other issues. Just the TSA.
The wife gets home and tells me the courier has called the home number and left a message saying the time for delivery will be between 6 and 10. Brilliant moron.
Now just for fun as I am writing this the courier dropped off the bag. My evening plans placed on hold as I sat here and waited for him. Nothing appears to be missing from the bag.
And now I have to contact my congressman and again complain about the TSA.
I should learn to drink heavily.
So for Halloween I figure the scariest costume I can come up with is that of a TSA agent.