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Author Topic: gimme that cow  (Read 1779 times)
Beth Kirkley
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Location: Eastman, Georgia


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« on: January 13, 2005, 11:55:52 PM »

A cowboy was shepherding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses, YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure. Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his IBM notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.

The yuppie then accesses a Oracle database through an ODBC connected Open Office spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads
all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his i-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a consultant." says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy.

"You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't now anything about my business...

...Now give me back my dog.
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Jerrymac
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Location: Wolfforth Texas


« Reply #1 on: January 14, 2005, 06:07:37 AM »

Huh? shepherding Huh??

That's what you do with sheep.
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rainbow sunflower  Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.   rainbow sunflower

 Jerry

My pictures.Type in password;  youview
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Sting
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Location: Aylmer, Qu├ębec, Canada


« Reply #2 on: January 14, 2005, 11:08:42 AM »

I should hire that cowboy.  Good one.
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"Where the bee sucks, there suck I." William Shakespeare: The Tempest.

My apiary is about 17 kms. (10 miles) NW (back & left) of this web-cam view:  'See any of my girls?
http://www.parliamenthill.gc.ca/text/hillcam_e.html
Horns Pure Honey
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« Reply #3 on: January 14, 2005, 05:26:28 PM »

That was the sheep one with cows, lol, it was still funny, bye
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Ryan Horn
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