A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them,
"We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from sex for one whole month. Once you have done so, return and you will become members."
The couple agreed, but after two and a half weeks, they returned to the
church. When the pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying
and the husband obviously very depressed.
"You are back so soon... Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired.
"We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month," the young man replied sadly. The pastor asked him what happened. "Well, the first week was difficult. However, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower. The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain."
"However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer,
reading from the Bible... anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts.
One afternoon, my wife reached for a can of peas and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and had my way with her right then and there."
"You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church," the
"We know," said the young man, hanging his head. "We're not welcome in
Safeway Supermarkets anymore, either."