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Author Topic: A mature (over 60) lady gets pulled over for speeding...  (Read 3655 times)
House Bee
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Gender: Male
Posts: 271

Location: College Ward, Utah

« on: September 05, 2008, 12:03:50 PM »

A  mature (over 60) lady gets pulled over for  speeding...

Older  Woman:  Is there a problem, Officer?   

Officer:  Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older  Woman:  Oh, I see.

Officer:  Can I see your license please?

Older  Woman:  I'd give it to you but I don't have one. 

Officer:  Don't have one?

Older  Woman:  Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. 

Officer:  I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older  Woman:  I can't do that.

Officer:  Why not?

Older  Woman:  I stole this car.

Officer:  Stole it?

Older  Woman:  Yes, and I killed and hacked up the  owner. 

Officer:  You what?

Older  Woman:  His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the  woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up.  Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer  slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. 

Officer  2:  Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle  please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle. 

Older  woman:  Is there a problem sir?

Officer  2:  One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and  murdered the owner.

Older  Woman:  Murdered the owner? 

Officer  2:  Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,

The  woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty  trunk. 

Officer  2:  Is this your car, ma'am?

Older  Woman:  Yes, here are the registration papers.

The officer is quite  stunned. 

Officer  2:  One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. 

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch  purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the  license. He looks quite puzzled. 

Officer  2:  Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a  license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older  Woman:  Bet the liar told you I was speeding,  too. 

After 18 months of reading and preparation, my girls finally arrived on April 11th (2006)!
Super Bee
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Gender: Male
Posts: 1698

Location: Warren,Arkansas

« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2008, 09:52:39 PM »

I like that one! I told it to my wife and she laugh
Super Bee
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Gender: Female
Posts: 1651

Location: buckley wa

I am NEVER bored!!

« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2008, 10:19:46 PM »

Hee Hee, Liked that one!  Will have to remember it! evil  Jody

I'm covered in Beeesssss!  Eddie Izzard
Brian D. Bray
Galactic Bee
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Gender: Male
Posts: 7369

Location: Anacortes, WA 98221

I really look like this, just ask Cindi.

« Reply #3 on: September 06, 2008, 10:34:01 PM »

Hate to spoil the fun but that's an OLD cop joke.

More fun is trying to pull over a women for speeding and she won't stop for the emergency lights, won't stop for the horn and emergency lights, but as soon as the siren wails she pulls over so fast the police car almost crashes into her.  The Police Officer approaches the car, while his pardner goes to the passenger side, and asks the Lady for her license.  Her eyes are full of tears.  She says, "You made me pee my pants."

Seems the lady was in a bad way and was trying to get to a rest stop before the dam broke.  The siren startled her and the dam broke.

True Story, the Police Officer was my father and I was the pardner, home on leave between duty stations.


Life is a school.  What have you learned?   Brian      The greatest danger to our society is apathy, vote in every election!
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