I know this was a joke, but on a sidenote, I have less of a problem with people stealing food if they are in need, starving is a wicked motivator.
One of my uncles was in New York yrs ago and a street person asked him for money near a hot dog stand.
My uncle says, I don't have money to give you but will buy you a hot dog, so the person concedes.
My uncle hands him the hot dog and the person hands it right back, my uncle says, is there something wrong?
Guy says, its got mustard on it, I hate mustard, and he moves on!!
Its nice to be kind at heart, but people don't give your hard earned money away to those that may wind up buying beer or their next fix with it.
Sad, but true.