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Offline Jerrymac

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Take her away
« on: September 03, 2008, 12:31:43 PM »
An Elderly lady was caught stealing a can of peaches. When she went to court the judge asked why she did it.

"Because I was hungry." She said.

The Judge then asked, "How many peaches were in the can?"

"Six your honor," she told him.

"I shall sentence you to serve one day jail time for each peach," The Judge advised her.

Before the actual sentencing began her husband jumped up and asked if he could say something.

"Sure," said the Judge, "What is it?"

"She also stole a can of peas."
:rainbowflower:  Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.   :rainbowflower:

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Offline JP

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Re: Take her away
« Reply #1 on: September 07, 2008, 10:33:54 AM »
I know this was a joke, but on a sidenote, I have less of a problem with people stealing food if they are in need, starving is a wicked motivator.

One of my uncles was in New York yrs ago and a street person asked him for money near a hot dog stand.

My uncle says, I don't have money to give you but will buy you a hot dog, so the person concedes.

My uncle hands him the hot dog and the person hands it right back, my uncle says, is there something wrong?

Guy says, its got mustard on it, I hate mustard, and he moves on!!

Its nice to be kind at heart, but people don't give your hard earned money away to those that may wind up buying beer or their next fix with it.

Sad, but true.


...JP
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Offline annette

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Re: Take her away
« Reply #2 on: September 07, 2008, 06:34:50 PM »
I have had a couple of experiences like this JP and have offered to purchase a meal for the person instead of giving the money. They always decline the meal.

Offline poka-bee

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Re: Take her away
« Reply #3 on: September 07, 2008, 10:51:03 PM »
This isn't the same but I pick up sample bags of dog food & give em to the people panhandling that have dogs...I specially feel sorry for those poor dogs sitting w/owners on freeway entrances..those I add a bottle of water.  If the people are hungry enough they can snack on the kibbles...Us kids used to chow down on em & we turned out ok..well...hmmm  :roll: anyways I don't like animals to suffer! Jody
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Offline JP

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Re: Take her away
« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2008, 08:14:16 PM »
This isn't the same but I pick up sample bags of dog food & give em to the people panhandling that have dogs...I specially feel sorry for those poor dogs sitting w/owners on freeway entrances..those I add a bottle of water.  If the people are hungry enough they can snack on the kibbles...Us kids used to chow down on em & we turned out ok..well...hmmm  :roll: anyways I don't like animals to suffer! Jody

While on our evacuation vacation in Ms, my wife came back in after a little shopping with three icing covered doggie biscuit/cookies, that I of course had to try, weren't bad, woof, woof...


...JP
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Offline buzzbeejr

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Re: Take her away
« Reply #5 on: September 08, 2008, 08:35:11 PM »
I've done the same thing. except, I actually just bought them for my self. Little dry, that was all.  :) :)
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Offline JP

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Re: Take her away
« Reply #6 on: September 08, 2008, 08:44:22 PM »
I've done the same thing. except, I actually just bought them for my self. Little dry, that was all.  :) :)

EXACTLY!!! They were dry, woof!


...JP ;)
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Offline Dan163

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Re: Take her away
« Reply #7 on: September 08, 2008, 09:01:33 PM »
Ya, but your teeth are nice and clean now!

Offline JP

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Re: Take her away
« Reply #8 on: September 08, 2008, 09:09:03 PM »
Ya, but your teeth are nice and clean now!

Yes, they are, woof! Woof!


...JP
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Offline poka-bee

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Re: Take her away
« Reply #9 on: September 08, 2008, 09:11:53 PM »

While on our evacuation vacation in Ms, my wife came back in after a little shopping with three icing covered doggie biscuit/cookies, that I of course had to try, weren't bad, woof, woof...


...JP
[/quote]
Hmmm JP that explains a lot.. :evil:
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Offline Jerrymac

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Re: Take her away
« Reply #10 on: September 09, 2008, 09:51:32 AM »
Bet the wife has got him trained.....

Sit! Stay!

Wonder if he's house broke  :shock:
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Offline JP

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Re: Take her away
« Reply #11 on: September 09, 2008, 10:44:29 AM »
Bet the wife has got him trained.....

Sit! Stay!

Wonder if he's house broke  :shock:

Yeah, she sent me to Jerrymac house training school, guarenteed to be whipped in two days or your money back, didn't work, maybe next time. :-D


...JP :-*
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Offline Scadsobees

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Re: Take her away
« Reply #12 on: September 09, 2008, 01:33:28 PM »
Yeah, It burns me when people begging for money turn down a meal.  Some guy was asking for money for a phone call, and when I offered him a cheeseburger he snorted and walked away!

The nerve!

 :-D
Rick

Offline Brian D. Bray

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Re: Take her away
« Reply #13 on: September 09, 2008, 04:48:53 PM »
Yeah, It burns me when people begging for money turn down a meal.  Some guy was asking for money for a phone call, and when I offered him a cheeseburger he snorted and walked away!

The nerve!

 :-D

They can Buy booze or drugs with the money but a meal only keeps them alive.  Who want's to eat when they can tie one on?
I too, always offer a meal or food from my grocery bag, I figure if they won't accept that they're committing fraud.
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Offline Jerrymac

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Re: Take her away
« Reply #14 on: September 09, 2008, 11:29:18 PM »
Yeah, she sent me to Jerrymac house training school, guarenteed to be whipped in two days or your money back, didn't work, maybe next time. :-D

I'm the head of this house hold.

My wife gave me permission to say that  :-D
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Offline JP

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Re: Take her away
« Reply #15 on: September 10, 2008, 12:35:41 AM »
Yeah, she sent me to Jerrymac house training school, guarenteed to be whipped in two days or your money back, didn't work, maybe next time. :-D

I'm the head of this house hold.

My wife gave me permission to say that  :-D

A good wife lets us think we run the entire show, not too macho to say that, its the dang truth, now I know little John would tussle with me on this one, they can make our lives wonderful or miserable they really do have the power, but my wife will tell you I put up a good fight!  ;)


...JP
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Offline SgtMaj

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Re: Take her away
« Reply #16 on: September 10, 2008, 10:21:04 AM »
I know this was a joke, but on a sidenote, I have less of a problem with people stealing food if they are in need, starving is a wicked motivator.

One of my uncles was in New York yrs ago and a street person asked him for money near a hot dog stand.

My uncle says, I don't have money to give you but will buy you a hot dog, so the person concedes.

My uncle hands him the hot dog and the person hands it right back, my uncle says, is there something wrong?

Guy says, its got mustard on it, I hate mustard, and he moves on!!

Its nice to be kind at heart, but people don't give your hard earned money away to those that may wind up buying beer or their next fix with it.

Sad, but true.


...JP

JP, what's sadder, is that bum likely wasn't going to just buy his next fix, but probably made more money bumming, than your father and you both make working.  Just think how many people stop to give them money every hour, and how many of them are giving them $5 and $10 at a time, and you'll see they easily make $30-50 an hour.

Back when I lived in Washington state, KOMO news did an expose' story on them... and found that most of them were actually living in mansions, and just bummed a few months a year to pay for their nice lifestyle.  The rest are junkies, but after watching that, I'd rather give my money to the junkies than the others.


Offline JP

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Re: Take her away
« Reply #17 on: September 10, 2008, 10:34:31 AM »
One of my Dad's friends is a kick Sarge, this is what he does, now I do it. 

When someone approaches you and you know they're gonna ask you for money, beat 'em to the punch and ask them first, they don't expect it and are usually shocked and go the other way, poetic justice!!


...JP
"Good friends are as sweet as honey" Winne the Pooh

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Offline SgtMaj

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Re: Take her away
« Reply #18 on: September 11, 2008, 02:58:03 AM »
One of my Dad's friends is a kick Sarge, this is what he does, now I do it. 

When someone approaches you and you know they're gonna ask you for money, beat 'em to the punch and ask them first, they don't expect it and are usually shocked and go the other way, poetic justice!!


...JP

Or if they beat you to it... just say "I was just about to ask you the same thing."

Offline JP

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Re: Take her away
« Reply #19 on: September 11, 2008, 07:13:29 AM »
One of my Dad's friends is a kick Sarge, this is what he does, now I do it. 

When someone approaches you and you know they're gonna ask you for money, beat 'em to the punch and ask them first, they don't expect it and are usually shocked and go the other way, poetic justice!!


...JP

Yep, I bet you ten bucks I know where you got your shoes!!

This is one the hustlers still use after more than 25 yrs.


...JP

Or if they beat you to it... just say "I was just about to ask you the same thing."
"Good friends are as sweet as honey" Winne the Pooh

My pictures can be viewed at http://picasaweb.google.com/pyxicephalus
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My website JPthebeeman.com http://www.jpthebeeman.com/jpthebeeman/