Welcome, Guest

Author Topic: My kids are growing up, and I am not sure I like it  (Read 1949 times)

Offline Pond Creek Farm

  • Field Bee
  • ***
  • Posts: 566
  • Gender: Male
My kids are growing up, and I am not sure I like it
« on: August 02, 2008, 09:11:21 PM »
I know I cannot control time, but I sure wish I could.  We celebrated my son's 13th birthday last night, and I was thinking today how well I remember being that age.  I am 41, but 13 seems not terribly long ago.  I remember where I was, what I was doing, what I was thinking, and what I was going through. All of this is somewhat concerning to me.  Surely this cherub son of mine (who incidentally ins about 5'7" and 155) could not be like those memories.  My son is now taller and much larger than his mother, but to me he still seems a little boy.  My wife reminds me that at 6'7", 255 anyone seems small to me.  This whole teenager thing is going to be hard, I can tell. 
Brian

Offline kathyp

  • Universal Bee
  • *******
  • Posts: 15658
  • Gender: Female
Re: My kids are growing up, and I am not sure I like it
« Reply #1 on: August 03, 2008, 01:11:15 AM »
it's pretty horrible sometimes :-).  you do the best you can.  teach them right from wrong.  know that they will screw up.  know that if you have given them a solid foundation, they will un-screw themselves eventually.

trust your instincts.  if something feels wrong, it probably is.  don't be afraid to be the bad guy.

2 parts praise for every 1 part criticism.
.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville

Offline SgtMaj

  • Queen Bee
  • ****
  • Posts: 1464
  • Gender: Male
Re: My kids are growing up, and I am not sure I like it
« Reply #2 on: August 03, 2008, 01:18:45 AM »
Not to scare you or anything, but in just 5 short years, he'll be moving out on his own.

Parenting is wierd, with each step they take toward adulthood we're as happy and proud as we can be of them... but to look back we're so sad they've moved on.

Offline Big John

  • House Bee
  • **
  • Posts: 114
  • Gender: Male
Re: My kids are growing up, and I am not sure I like it
« Reply #3 on: August 03, 2008, 07:28:56 AM »
Don't worry it will get worse (until the grand kids start coming around)
"Semper Fi"

Offline reinbeau

  • Super Bee
  • *****
  • Posts: 2502
  • Gender: Female
Re: My kids are growing up, and I am not sure I like it
« Reply #4 on: August 03, 2008, 10:12:31 AM »
Not to scare you or anything, but in just 5 short years, he'll be moving out on his own.
Maybe.  Sometimes hopefully.  My eldest moved out at 23, my youngest, at 23, is still here, but that's OK.  He was tough to have around during his 16-21 years, but once he found his calling (an apprentice electrician) he's become quite pleasant to have around.  He has a five year plan - we'll see if he lasts here that long, though.  I think he'll fly soon.


- Ann, A Gardening Beek -  ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

Click for Hanson, Massachusetts Forecast" border="0" height="150" width="256

Offline Pond Creek Farm

  • Field Bee
  • ***
  • Posts: 566
  • Gender: Male
Re: My kids are growing up, and I am not sure I like it
« Reply #5 on: August 03, 2008, 11:20:43 AM »
Not to scare you or anything, but in just 5 short years, he'll be moving out on his own.

Parenting is wierd, with each step they take toward adulthood we're as happy and proud as we can be of them... but to look back we're so sad they've moved on.

Sarge:  That was the thought that came right after I started remembering being 13.  You're right, I feel both emotions at the same time.
Brian

Offline kathyp

  • Universal Bee
  • *******
  • Posts: 15658
  • Gender: Female
Re: My kids are growing up, and I am not sure I like it
« Reply #6 on: August 04, 2008, 12:27:14 AM »
yah, and you'd think after they are grown they'd not be a problem!  my oldest is 28 and sometime i still want to strangle him!!  :-)
.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville

Offline asprince

  • Super Bee
  • *****
  • Posts: 1739
  • Gender: Male
Re: My kids are growing up, and I am not sure I like it
« Reply #7 on: August 04, 2008, 08:36:34 AM »
As Bill Cosby once said "They leave, they come back and bring more with them, and then they multiply."

Mine did just that.

Steve 
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resembalance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

Offline Frantz

  • Field Bee
  • ***
  • Posts: 504
  • Gender: Male
Re: My kids are growing up, and I am not sure I like it
« Reply #8 on: August 04, 2008, 03:43:19 PM »
Oh it is not fair is it... My oldest is turning 14 here in a month. I don't know if my heart can handle it. She is growing & developing and everything right before my eyes. I worry, but she is a good kid, we call her our old soul. She is subject to the world though. She wanted a belly button ring a year ago. (%$&*$) It has been hard this last year, cause she is smart, I don't mean book smart ( she is straight A's and all) but I mean smart, street smart. She is one hell of a debater. She is starting to go tree hugger on me. I love to debate her, but she is getting good. I am hoping that she is just playing devils advocate so she has a position to debate. But she is a tough cookie. She is very outgoing, and athletic. This year she is starting 8th grade so basketball and track, I have my fingers crossed that she will latch on to the athletics and stay with that group. That is the only thing that saved me in High School. So I am with you guys, what do we do?? Love em, teach em, and turn em loose.... Hopefully they come back
F

Don't be yourself, "Be the man you would want your daughters to marry!!"

Offline kathyp

  • Universal Bee
  • *******
  • Posts: 15658
  • Gender: Female
Re: My kids are growing up, and I am not sure I like it
« Reply #9 on: August 04, 2008, 03:56:08 PM »
Quote
Hopefully they come back

but not to live!!  :-D

my father had a good way to deal with my desire to debate (argue).  he would dumb us at the library with  instructions to research the opposing position.  he allowed debate, but only if we could argue both sides.  not only will this help you make your point, but it will sharpen her abilities for the future.  the only problem with my training is that now i tend to want to debate everything and everyone.  even those i agree with :-).  thinking sideways is a skill to be nurtured.
.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville

Offline Frantz

  • Field Bee
  • ***
  • Posts: 504
  • Gender: Male
Re: My kids are growing up, and I am not sure I like it
« Reply #10 on: August 04, 2008, 04:05:13 PM »
I agree Kathy, she is now at the point where I am just starting to make her debate both sides... I am the same way, I had a college proffesor tell me one time in a very frustrated tone " Frantz you would argue that the sky is red, just for the sake of arguing" To which my reply was simply "yep" :-D
Don't be yourself, "Be the man you would want your daughters to marry!!"

Offline Pond Creek Farm

  • Field Bee
  • ***
  • Posts: 566
  • Gender: Male
Re: My kids are growing up, and I am not sure I like it
« Reply #11 on: August 04, 2008, 06:11:08 PM »
My job requires me to be able to argue each side of an issue with equal fervor (although not at the same time).  It is a learned skill that helps in seeing your adversary's position ore clearly and then taking steps to diffuse it.
Brian

Offline Brian D. Bray

  • Galactic Bee
  • ******
  • Posts: 7369
  • Gender: Male
  • I really look like this, just ask Cindi.
    • http://spaces.msn.com/thecoonsden
Re: My kids are growing up, and I am not sure I like it
« Reply #12 on: August 05, 2008, 12:45:51 AM »
As Bill Cosby once said "They leave, they come back and bring more with them, and then they multiply."

Mine did just that.

Steve 

Me too!  I now have 3 grown children and 5 grandchildren living in my 3 BRM, 1B home beside the wife and I (I'm 60 in a few days).  Use of the bathroom is on a schedule, or should be.
Life is a school.  What have you learned?   :brian:      The greatest danger to our society is apathy, vote in every election!

Offline SgtMaj

  • Queen Bee
  • ****
  • Posts: 1464
  • Gender: Male
Re: My kids are growing up, and I am not sure I like it
« Reply #13 on: August 05, 2008, 01:17:28 AM »
yah, and you'd think after they are grown they'd not be a problem!  my oldest is 28 and sometime i still want to strangle him!!  :-)

Mom?  Is that you? 

J/k, I'm a little older than 28, but I know my mom has wanted to strangle me MANY times since I left home.

My one and only turns 18 months next month, and I'm so glad the age is still counted in months.  He's already taking his first steps, and saying his first words... and pushing dad away when he wants to play.