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Author Topic: corn fed venison...well it looked good on paper  (Read 5829 times)
pdmattox
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« on: June 03, 2008, 06:10:44 PM »


As I sit here behind this laptop, I now realize that this definitely wasn't the brightest idea I have ever had. I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.
The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.
The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it.
After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up — 3 of them. I picked out.. ..a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw.. ..my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.
I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
I took a step toward it…took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education.
The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.
That deer EXPLODED.
The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.
A deer– no chance.
That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.
The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.
A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature
off the end of that rope.
I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere.
At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.
Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand…kind of like a squeeze chute.
I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.
Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.
Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head –almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.
The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.
It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.
I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it.
While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp.
I learned a long time ago that, when an animal — like a horse — strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move toward the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy.
I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.
The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head.
Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.
Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.
I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.
So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope so that they can be somewhat equal to the prey.
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JordanM
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« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2008, 07:29:03 PM »

What an awesome story. I always wanted to try to catch a deer on a rope to but have not tried it and never will now. But my uncle had a baby fawn, thats mother left it and he tied it to a stake like a dog and it drank and ate and was perfectly well. He even played with it sometimes and it didn't run away, but after a little while it got big enough and he let it go and it wouldn't leave there house for a week. I guess the better thing to do is probably is find one that is neglected by the mother and raise it up from a real little baby.
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poka-bee
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« Reply #2 on: June 03, 2008, 08:13:45 PM »

BWAAHAHAHA Laughed so hard I peed my pants!!!!  What in the world were you thinking??? I know you had this same thought seconds after you put pressure on the rope!  I hope you are ok, no lasting wounds..except for your pride..imagine the deer sitting around their campfire telling tales.... evil  Maybe next time you have a great idea you can run it by some of your pals here! Smphhsnortle...still chuckling   grin grin  Jody
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Moonshae
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« Reply #3 on: June 03, 2008, 08:57:49 PM »

What an awesome story. I always wanted to try to catch a deer on a rope to but have not tried it and never will now. But my uncle had a baby fawn, thats mother left it and he tied it to a stake like a dog and it drank and ate and was perfectly well. He even played with it sometimes and it didn't run away, but after a little while it got big enough and he let it go and it wouldn't leave there house for a week. I guess the better thing to do is probably is find one that is neglected by the mother and raise it up from a real little baby.

Does often leave their young while they forage for food. When people stumble on them, they think they've been abandoned, but odds are good that they have not. Fawns laying quietly, fairly concealed, are generally just waiting for their mothers to return.
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JordanM
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« Reply #4 on: June 03, 2008, 09:55:30 PM »

What an awesome story. I always wanted to try to catch a deer on a rope to but have not tried it and never will now. But my uncle had a baby fawn, thats mother left it and he tied it to a stake like a dog and it drank and ate and was perfectly well. He even played with it sometimes and it didn't run away, but after a little while it got big enough and he let it go and it wouldn't leave there house for a week. I guess the better thing to do is probably is find one that is neglected by the mother and raise it up from a real little baby.

Does often leave their young while they forage for food. When people stumble on them, they think they've been abandoned, but odds are good that they have not. Fawns laying quietly, fairly concealed, are generally just waiting for their mothers to return.

I know this, because i often see them in the woods and i walk the other way, but the one my uncle had was its mother was hit by a car.
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HAB
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« Reply #5 on: June 03, 2008, 10:18:57 PM »

I can just see the State Police, Wildlife Agents, ASPCA, etc. all looking up computers IP address now.
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Brian D. Bray
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« Reply #6 on: June 04, 2008, 10:48:56 PM »

Try catching a bob cat by the tail and putting it in a gunny sack.  It's not overly difficult (relatively speaking) with a raccoon as they have a longer tail to hang onto up a bob cat is a buzz saw in action when you grab its tial.  But in either case you are going to be scarred for life.  Some stories from my boyhood.

I knew a man who used to catch a bear in a large box trap (12Lx12Wx8H) in the spring as it came out of hibernation and then corn fed it all summer and butchered in the fall.  Bear Bacon and Hams are something else.
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indypartridge
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« Reply #7 on: June 05, 2008, 06:42:05 AM »

From the moment I read the first sentence I knew the "hooves are sharp" lesson was gonna be in there somewhere. Thanks for making my hare-brained schemes look sane in comparison!

Edited to add:
Quote
That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front feet
I shared your story with my daughter. Her comment was "Didn't he ever watch 'Bambi'? That's how Bambi's dad fought."
« Last Edit: June 05, 2008, 10:05:02 AM by indypartridge » Logged
JP
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« Reply #8 on: June 05, 2008, 07:33:21 AM »

Yep, deer are exceptionally strong, don't try and rope 'em.

Fawns are very curious by nature especially the young bucks that's why a lot of states have gone to a no spike rule cause all the hunters were taking too many young and curious bucks. The most fun I've had in the woods involved calling in young bucks and have them fiddle around my stand, they wander off and you can call them right back in. I've called some back as many as three different times. They are also very vocal.


...JP
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poka-bee
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« Reply #9 on: June 05, 2008, 11:25:04 AM »

JP, those young bucks sound much like the young bucks of the human variety!! rolleyes  I love messing with stuff like that, never done it with big game animals but always with my farm & house animals & smaller things in the yard.  You get to know what their movements mean + it's just good fun. grin Was very disappointed when I got the bee suit though, came running out w/arms waving like your avatar & our animals barely looked up, yawned & went back to whatever they were doing....maybe desensitized em too much over the years?Huh tongue Wink  The squirrels still scamper though! evil  Jody
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qa33010
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« Reply #10 on: June 05, 2008, 11:40:31 AM »

That was too funny!!!

   I knew they had sharp hooves when I saw two go at it when I was a kid in Minnesota.  The blood flowed freely and the one finally ran off the other.  I'm PMing you what happened to me with no rope just hunting.
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JP
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« Reply #11 on: June 05, 2008, 02:47:26 PM »

Jody: "JP, those young bucks sound much like the young bucks of the human variety!! rolleyes "

Ya know, it works on both ends! grin


...JP 
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« Reply #12 on: June 05, 2008, 04:15:57 PM »

heh, heh....
 If the deer was writing this, he would've titled it,"Dope on a Rope!" grin
 That was a gas!!!

your friend,
john
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« Reply #13 on: June 07, 2008, 11:25:39 PM »

PDMAttox:
Sounds like someone needs a copy of "Deer Roping For Dummies". LOL grin grin
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mick
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« Reply #14 on: June 09, 2008, 02:42:27 AM »

Crikey Dalls, I just angry myself laughing.

Man thats what you get for being greedy, wanting to take the poor old Bambi home and fatten it up for the kill.'

You shoulda done what Ted would have done and shot it on sight. Even kathy woulda pulled out the .38 from her waistband and got started on them Venison sausages.

No Gun Dallas, what woulda ya done if you had run into some real trouble lol.
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JP
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« Reply #15 on: June 09, 2008, 04:48:15 AM »

Crikey Dalls, I just pee'd myself laughing.

Man thats what you get for being greedy, wanting to take the poor old Bambi home and fatten it up for the kill.'

You shoulda done what Ted would have done and shot it on sight. Even kathy woulda pulled out the .38 from her waistband and got started on them Venison sausages.

No Gun Dallas, what woulda ya done if you had run into some real trouble lol.

Yrs ago, a friend had an archery shop. This one guy came in all beat up looking one day, cuts everywhere (the vegetarians will love this story, hee hee) he said he shot this deer with the bow and arrow and went to retrieve it when the deer came alive and pinned him to the ground. He was holding the deer off by the antlers but the deer was getting the best of him.

Some kinda way he finally managed to get to a knife in a pocket and finish the deer off.

I remember the story as if it were yesterday and that was almost 20 yrs ago, the dude was beat up looking, let me tell you, he was lucky to survive the incident.


...JP
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« Reply #16 on: June 17, 2008, 10:33:43 PM »

Oh my!! that was good. I laughed the whole way through that. It was great. I laughed so hard and long that my wife gave me one of those looks,,, you know what one I mean. The one that says "your bee friends cannot be that funny" one of those looks. Anyway, that story reminded me of the times that we spent in high school chasing and bulldog'n deer out of my friends truck.
My buddy had this little 2 wheel drive toyota truck that had no shocks at all. We used to head up in this new subdivision that had paved roads everywhere but the deer where still thick through there too. We used to just chase them and guide them with the headlights and such.
Well, of course one of us said, they are close enough that you could reach out and bulldog'em... We being from a hick rodeo type of town found plenty of cowboy wanna be kids up to the challenge. My buddy would drive and I would cheer them on from the back of the truck. We (the smart kids) never did try it, but we had a ton of fun watching these guys try out the back of my buddy's truck. I am telling you those deer can turn on a dime when they need to. I bet we launched about 25 kids out the back of that truck and only one kid ever dog'd one. It was hilarious. It all stopped though when we took one kid to the hospital with a couple of puncture wounds to the chest. Even at my best my BS was not sufficient to explain that one away.
looking back I am glad that we all survived!!! Deer and all.
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« Reply #17 on: June 17, 2008, 11:20:52 PM »

When bulldoggen rabbits from a trucl it is best to be belted onto the bed and running board and use a fish net.  Been There, Done That.

Sometimes, looking back on the things I did as a kid, I wonder how I survived to be an adult and dive into a whole new world of stupidity.  Makes me think I'm just an instant away from a Darwin Award.
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« Reply #18 on: June 17, 2008, 11:57:48 PM »

Reminds me of a run in i had with a white rhea bird.  For those of you that don't know what i'm talking about think of an Emu only a little smaller.  That in mind a neighbor gave me a couple as he was getting out of the business no problems getting them home or into the lot.  Dogs got after them soon after and stirred them up pretty good before i could put the dogs up.  They knocked over thier water dish so here i go shashaying in there with some freash water.  Stupid move should have let them calm down a bit.  Next thing i know i'm being kicked up against the fence.  Now i remembered he told me i could grab them by the neck and control them somewhat.  Mind you somewhat so here i have two huge birds by the neck all the while i'm catching the beating of my life.  Finally all my screaming and yelling like a little girl my dad comes to the rescue and helps me get out.  I had trouble walking for about a week after this encounter as the lower half of my body was almost one continous bruse.  The moral of the story i'm dumb and i know it and even birds can serve up a major butt whoopin'.  So don't feel bad about the deer most ideas that go wrong sound good at the time just like me not waiting 30 minutes to an hour to let them settle down.
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« Reply #19 on: June 18, 2008, 11:57:40 AM »

OH Alright.... I'll tell about the time a rabbit tried to kill me.

I was out in the country with four other guys. We were shooting up just about everything we found laying around. I do not now remember why I was walking towards a stack of irrigation pipes. Just as bunch stacked up a couple of feet high with weeds growing up around them. The weeds were dead because this was January around Amarillo, TX. Just a bit of snow on the ground. So there I was walking towards this junk with 4 armed.... I don't think they were drunk yet.... individuals behind me. We had an assortment  of hand guns and rifles. Everybody had two or three.

So this rabbit jumps up out of this mess and runs off to my right. He was probably a good twenty yard from me when the guys noticed him and opened up on him. It was A sight to see, the rabbit running full out and the ground and clumps of snow spaying up in the air from the bullets splatting all around him. He might of gone a good 70 yards when he pulled a u-turn and was now running the other way. I was watching him fly along there as these guys behind me were still trying to hit this fast moving target. The rabbit was now just off to my right about 20 yards in front of me when I realized that sometime in the next second or two I am going to have bullets zipping around me. I dropped like a sack of potatoes and listened to the whizzing and whirring of various types of lead flying over my head.

Never did hit that rabbit. But we sure had a blast  grin
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