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Author Topic: Let's laugh!!! Good for the body, mind and soul!!!  (Read 1745 times)
Cindi
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« on: May 15, 2008, 10:04:09 AM »

Got a cute and funny little e-mail this morning, it made me smile, it made me feel good, yep, yep.  Have a beautiful, awesomely great day, Cindi

Thank you. I am eternally in your debt.
 
I just want to thank all of you for your educational emails over the past year. ...
 
Thanks to you, I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.

I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels. 

I can't enjoy lemon slices in my tea or on my seafood anymore because lemon peels have been found to contain all kinds of nasty germs including feces. 

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pass-time while driving alone is picking your nose.

I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the  $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water  buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God'  on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave  anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown   African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex offender waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...
Have a wonderful day...
Oh, by the way.....
A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

Logged

There are strange things done in the midnight sun by the men who moil for gold.  The Arctic trails have their secret tales that would make your blood run cold.  The Northern Lights have seen queer sights, but the queerest they ever did see, what the night on the marge of Lake Lebarge, I cremated Sam McGee.  Robert Service
kathyp
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« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2008, 10:06:51 AM »

that was good for a laugh!  thanks.
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.....The greatest changes occur in their country without their cooperation. They are not even aware of precisely what has taken place. They suspect it; they have heard of the event by chance. More than that, they are unconcerned with the fortunes of their village, the safety of their streets, the fate of their church and its vestry. They think that such things have nothing to do with them, that they belong to a powerful stranger called “the government.” They enjoy these goods as tenants, without a sense of ownership, and never give a thought to how they might be improved.....

 Alexis de Tocqueville
Keith13
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Location: Baton Rouge, LA


« Reply #2 on: May 15, 2008, 10:09:59 AM »

I had my hand on my mouse through the whole thing oh well
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JP
The Swarm King
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Location: Metairie, Louisiana

I like doing cut-outs, but I love catching swarms!


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« Reply #3 on: May 15, 2008, 02:08:48 PM »

I thought kfc chicken was mice that accidentally wound up in the fryer. grin


...JP
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"Good friends are as sweet as honey" Winne the Pooh

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My website JPthebeeman.com http://www.jpthebeeman.com/jpthebeeman/
Brian D. Bray
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Location: Anacortes, WA 98221

I really look like this, just ask Cindi.


WWW
« Reply #4 on: May 16, 2008, 12:28:49 AM »

I thought kfc chicken was mice that accidentally wound up in the fryer. grin


...JP

Only the ones they catch.
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Life is a school.  What have you learned?   Brian      The greatest danger to our society is apathy, vote in every election!
Scadsobees
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Location: Jenison, MI

Best use of smileys in a post award.


« Reply #5 on: May 16, 2008, 08:26:36 AM »

I thought kfc chicken was mice that accidentally wound up in the fryer. grin
...JP

Only the extra-crunchy chicken!
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Rick
NHKelly99
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Location: Maine


« Reply #6 on: May 16, 2008, 10:58:36 PM »

Do all the things listed, except for KFC I gave up on that years ago, and live life to the fullest. 
We will all pass of something. Might as well have fun. "You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, you just can't pick your friends nose."

Kelly
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annette
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Location: Placerville, California


« Reply #7 on: May 16, 2008, 11:12:14 PM »

Love this, Very, very funny!!! I am not going to tell you which ones I do, but I will say it has nothing to do with a remote.

Annette
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Jerrymac
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Location: Wolfforth Texas


« Reply #8 on: May 19, 2008, 11:33:35 AM »

Leaving ones hand on the mouse conserves energy, there fore it is the ones lacking the mentality to know this that are the ones that remove their hands after readjusting each line of the E-mail.
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rainbow sunflower  Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.   rainbow sunflower

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