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Author Topic: Dog and cat diary  (Read 1092 times)

Offline Mici

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Dog and cat diary
« on: February 28, 2008, 04:17:05 PM »
ok...this got me laughing like few things before i mean...oh LOL


Dog and Cat diary biggrin.gif
DOG DIARY
>
> 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
> 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
> 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
> 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
> 12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
> 1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
> 3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
> 5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
> 7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
> 8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
> 11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
>
> CAT DIARY
>
> Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
> little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
> other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I
> make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must
> eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps
> me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once
> again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its
> headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into
> their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
> However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good
> little hunter' I am. Bastards!
>
> There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
> placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
> could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
> confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this
> means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful
> in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his
> feet as he was walking. I must try this again to morrow -- but at the
> top of the stairs.
>
>
>
> I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
> The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
> seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

Offline buzzbeejr

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Re: Dog and cat diary
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2008, 06:13:49 PM »
rotfl... good one. HMMM, seems like my diary about school but instead of the dog thats stupid, it's the teachers. lol
MMMMMMMMM!!!!!! Doughnuts.- Homer Simpson

Offline Cindi

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Re: Dog and cat diary
« Reply #2 on: February 29, 2008, 10:07:29 AM »
Mici, very funnneeeee......I don't like cats, but I love dogs, so I think that is appropriate for cats.  Have a wonderful day, this groovey life.  Cindi
There are strange things done in the midnight sun by the men who moil for gold.  The Arctic trails have their secret tales that would make your blood run cold.  The Northern Lights have seen queer sights, but the queerest they ever did see, what the night on the marge of Lake Lebarge, I cremated Sam McGee.  Robert Service

Offline Beekissed

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Re: Dog and cat diary
« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2008, 03:56:57 PM »
THAT is the hardest I have laughed in a long time.....must go change my Depends now...thanks!   :-D
"...he maketh me to lie down in green pastures..."

 

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