You Might be Redneck if.......

[BigRog]

The same pair of boots have been in your family for five generations and they're only twenty years old.
 
You think the Franklin Mint is a breath freshener.
 
You think doctorin' involves mamma's sewing kit and a jug.
 
The strongest smell in your house is butane.
 
Your dog passes gas and you claim it.
 
You think paprika is a Third World country.
 
None of your shirts cover your stomach.
 
Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."
 
Your home has more miles on it than your car.
 
You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
 
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
 
Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.
 
You own a homemade fur coat.
 
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
 
You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.
 
Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".
 
You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
 
You've ever given rat traps as gifts.
 
You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table.
 
Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
 
The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.
 
You think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup.
 
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.