Drugs For Women
D A M N I T O L Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up
to 8 full hours.
ST. M O M M A'S W O R T Plant extract that treats mom's depression by
rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.
E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N Suppository that eliminates melancholy and
loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how
you couldn't wait till they moved out.
P E P T O B I M B O Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full
cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases
intelligence, and prevents conception.
D U M B E R O L When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low
IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
F L I P I T O R Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling
road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
M E N I C I L L I N Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases
resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better
person. Can we get naked now?"
B U Y A G R A Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases
potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
J A C K A S S P I R I N Relieves headache caused by a man who can't
remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be
used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total
strangers in elevators.
N A G A M E T When administered to a husband, provides the same
irritation level as nagging him all weekend, saving the wife the time
and trouble of doing it herself.