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Author Topic: The joke about the guy and the jellyfish  (Read 2278 times)

Offline Cindi

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The joke about the guy and the jellyfish
« on: November 23, 2007, 09:28:01 AM »
Now this is funny, some time ago I received a joke that made me laugh my guts out, on e-mail.  I received it again from a friend. This goes to show how things go through our cyber space.  Some of my longer time forum friends will remember this joke, but I think you would like to read it again, other new friends will find it funny too, enjoy.  AND have a wonderful and great day.  Cindi

I love my job, but.........

 If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at
 work think of this guy.

 Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global  Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.  Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
 
Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you
realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we  do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered  industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of  equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.  It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several  times with no complaints.

 What I do, when I get to the bottom and start  working, is take the hose and stuff it down he back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a jacuzzi.
 Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I  realized what had happened.  The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have  any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it However, the crack of my butt was not as  fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over  the communicator. His instructions were unclear due  to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

 Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water  decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.  When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
 As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face,  handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
 The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work,  think about how much worse it would be if you had a  jellyfish shoved up your butt.

 Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'

 Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is  this a jellyfish bad day?

 May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day
There are strange things done in the midnight sun by the men who moil for gold.  The Arctic trails have their secret tales that would make your blood run cold.  The Northern Lights have seen queer sights, but the queerest they ever did see, what the night on the marge of Lake Lebarge, I cremated Sam McGee.  Robert Service

Offline taipantoo

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Re: The joke about the guy and the jellyfish
« Reply #1 on: November 23, 2007, 10:56:19 AM »
Thank you Cindi.
I now have to clean coffee off of my my computer screen and keyboard.

One of the healthiest things you can do for yourself is have a good belly laugh.
I just don't recommend that with a mouth full of coffee. :-D

Tai

Offline 1frozenhillbilly

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Re: The joke about the guy and the jellyfish
« Reply #2 on: November 23, 2007, 04:30:49 PM »
yikes makes greasing trucks in the snow seem pretty tame
vegetarian???  isnt green stuff for growing meat?

Offline JP

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Re: The joke about the guy and the jellyfish
« Reply #3 on: November 27, 2007, 12:55:07 PM »
I have an uncle that used to be a hard hat diver and he has many stories. That one with the jellyfish is great one, I sure had a great belly laugh. I will ask him if he has heard of that one because he dove out of Louisiana as well. I know they had a dive one time where a trigger fish was giving the divers fits, kept nipping at everyone. They finally caught it and brough it in the decompression chamber with them.
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Offline Scadsobees

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Re: The joke about the guy and the jellyfish
« Reply #4 on: November 27, 2007, 03:29:58 PM »
Quote
I know they had a dive one time where a trigger fish was giving the divers fits, kept nipping at everyone.

It was just trying to help...he had an itchy trigger finger.  :roll:
Rick

Offline Jerrymac

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Re: The joke about the guy and the jellyfish
« Reply #5 on: November 27, 2007, 05:48:30 PM »
I never understood how people find someones misery funny.
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Offline Cindi

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Re: The joke about the guy and the jellyfish
« Reply #6 on: November 27, 2007, 07:18:21 PM »
I never understood how people find someones misery funny.

Jerry, you have gotta be kiddin' me!!!!  Have a wonderful and great day, Cindi
There are strange things done in the midnight sun by the men who moil for gold.  The Arctic trails have their secret tales that would make your blood run cold.  The Northern Lights have seen queer sights, but the queerest they ever did see, what the night on the marge of Lake Lebarge, I cremated Sam McGee.  Robert Service

Offline johnnybigfish

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Re: The joke about the guy and the jellyfish
« Reply #7 on: November 27, 2007, 10:56:09 PM »
Snort Snort!!
 I cant believe I've almost fallen out of my chair twice tonight reading funny stuff!!
 Now everybody is in here wanting to know whats wrong!!
your friend,
john