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Author Topic: the man rules  (Read 1135 times)

Offline TwT

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the man rules
« on: December 08, 2007, 02:00:27 AM »
The Man Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down 
 
 Finally,the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear"the rules"
From the female side.
 
 Now here are the rules from the male side. 

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!
 
1.   Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have  no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -
 to give them a bigger laugh.
THAT's ME TO THE LEFT JUST 5 YEARS FROM NOW!!!!!!!!

Never be afraid to try something new.
Amateurs built the ark,
Professionals built the Titanic

Offline Jerrymac

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Re: the man rules
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2007, 04:18:06 AM »
:rainbowflower:  Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.   :rainbowflower:

 :jerry:

My pictures.Type in password;  youview
     http://photobucket.com/albums/v225/Jerry-mac/

Offline TwT

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Re: the man rules
« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2007, 03:25:16 PM »
nope, it was a email sent to me, should have figured it was already posted, some good jokes are hard to find that aren't posted already  :-P :-D
THAT's ME TO THE LEFT JUST 5 YEARS FROM NOW!!!!!!!!

Never be afraid to try something new.
Amateurs built the ark,
Professionals built the Titanic

Offline Jerrymac

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Re: the man rules
« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2007, 04:46:33 PM »
I had to do that. Robo got on to me the last time I missed telling someone they were putting up already viewed material.
:rainbowflower:  Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.   :rainbowflower:

 :jerry:

My pictures.Type in password;  youview
     http://photobucket.com/albums/v225/Jerry-mac/

 

anything