News Headlines In Year 2050 ?

[Anonymous]

News Headlines In Year 2050 ?
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Canada’s third language.

Liberals still embarrassed about the sponsorship scandal

Spotted Owl plague threatens Canada United States relations, crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally... Scientists stunned.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Timmins.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon).

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being overtaken by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 142; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but 2 nd term President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2052.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and increases mail delivery to 3 times a year.

85 year study: Diet and exercise are the keys to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 350 lbs.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players drops to nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2051.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

Revenue Canada sets lowest tax rate in a decade at 85%.

Florida Democrats still don't know how to use a voting machine.

[BigRog]

Me again