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Author Topic: GRANDMA IN COURT  (Read 1423 times)

Offline pdmattox

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GRANDMA IN COURT
« on: October 21, 2007, 04:39:25 PM »


Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.   
You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about  them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and
asked,   "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why,   yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know
him."
The defense attorney almost died.
 
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
"If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the Electric Chair !"

 
   

Offline Understudy

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Re: GRANDMA IN COURT
« Reply #1 on: October 21, 2007, 04:50:04 PM »
LMAO!!! :-D :-D :-D :-D

Sincerely,
Brendhan
The status is not quo. The world is a mess and I just need to rule it. Dr. Horrible

Offline Brian D. Bray

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Re: GRANDMA IN COURT
« Reply #2 on: October 21, 2007, 09:28:00 PM »
I've seen similar things in court.  Never ask a question in court that you don't already know the answer to, also know your witness.  That's a hoot, I got a good laugh.
Life is a school.  What have you learned?   :brian:      The greatest danger to our society is apathy, vote in every election!

Offline Michael Bush

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Re: GRANDMA IN COURT
« Reply #3 on: October 22, 2007, 08:39:45 AM »
:)  Very good.
Michael Bush
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Offline JP

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Re: GRANDMA IN COURT
« Reply #4 on: October 23, 2007, 09:05:31 AM »
One of my favorite recent movies is My Cousin Vinny, I could see this Grandma in that movie, very funny, and to quote aunt Esther, " You better watch out sucker! "
"Good friends are as sweet as honey" Winne the Pooh

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Offline Cindi

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Re: GRANDMA IN COURT
« Reply #5 on: October 23, 2007, 10:08:55 AM »
Ahhha, ha, ha, ha.  Now that was a funneeee!!!!  Have a wonderful and great day.  Cindi
There are strange things done in the midnight sun by the men who moil for gold.  The Arctic trails have their secret tales that would make your blood run cold.  The Northern Lights have seen queer sights, but the queerest they ever did see, what the night on the marge of Lake Lebarge, I cremated Sam McGee.  Robert Service

 

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