My teeth fell out...

[Brian D. Bray]

Topics so dear to my heart.

I use to take Ritalin when I was still working--Why, because I have narcolepsy.  I've found that Narcolepsy and ADHD are related like Hypoglycemia and Diabeties--opposites of each other.  All are prevelent in my family.  Both my parents had Diabeties and so do I.  2 of my brothers have been diagnosed as ADHD (They're both in their 50's now) and I have Narcolepsy.  When I no longer had to keep specific hours as a job required I no longer had a reason to take Ritalin, I don't miss it. 

Some disorders are physcosymatic (sp?) meaning they are developed as a coping mechanism from either internal or external stress.  Some disorders are the result of injury or PTS (post tramatic stress). 

I've recently been diagnosed as being Injury (or Primary) Alexithymic as a result of several serious closed head injuries when I was a police officer.  My narcolepsy is rated as physical injury in origin.

Alexithymia: greek; a=without, lexi=word, thymia=feelings.  In otherwords the inability to associate words and feelings.  Mr. Roboto.

From what I've seen the prevelence of all these "disorders" are a result of people trying to find out why people act the way they do and then giving a name to it.  Whether it is from PTS, physical injury, or coping mechanisms does not necessarily invalidate the finding.  It does require a different solution. 

Poor parenting can contribute significantly to physcosymatic and PTS causes of probelms.  But so does being the victim of child abuse or rape, physical abuse, and emotional trauma. 

The way I see it the more people have strived to communicate beyond normal necessities then they've had to invent new terms.  Sometimes those new terms provide an excuse for contiuned bad behavior.  Bad behavior begats more bad behavior and eventually you have a disfunctional society.  Why?  Maybe because we've created things that really don't exist.   

[mgmoore7]

As far as 'bad parenting' goes, that's been disproven, it's not nurture, it's nature.  Now, if the parents are unable to cope with a different-minded child, then there can be issues.

i don't disagree, but i think often ADHD is diagnosed because the parents don't parent, and the teacher can't.  everyone becomes frustrated by an out of control kid and ADHD is an easy scapegoat. 

Unfortunately that is true.  Society today expects much of younger and younger children.  As far as parents not parenting, I can't argue with that, either.  It's sad that things have reached the point in this country that raising children is an afterthought, right after the jobs, houses, cars, etc. that so many feel are so important.

Well said.

Anyone every think that the needs of boys and girls are different.  I have noticed that more boys seem to be labeled ADHD.  Girls tend to do better in school as they seem to have longer attention spans, can sit still and focus.  More often boys either cannot or they develop these skills later in life.  Then when they are having issues, we think they are ADHD. 

What do we expect?  We put our children in preschool and public school and after school programs and expect them to sit for long periods of time with little activity.  Then when they get home, they sit in front of the TV. 

I really believe that much of the issues around ADHD are related to the laziness of our society and our lack of desire to realize that each child is different and adjust.  Some need lots of activity and others don't.  Some love to read books and others love to crash play cars.  It is our job as parents to see the interests and needs of our children and help to develop those.  Also to watch for issues and adjust to deal with them.

I have 4 children ages 7 and under.  My oldest has the classic signs of ADHD, but since we homeschool he is not forced into an specific method of learning.  In some cases while my wife is teaching or reading to him, he will walk around and act like he is not paying attention at all.  That is far from the case.  He catches all of it.  If you make him sit in one spot all the time and act like the perfect desk student, he is not learning.  My 5 year old daughter is just the opposite.

My 3 year old daughter is what we call "extremely strong willed".   Most parents just give up on a child like this and that child rules the house and their life.  We refuse to do this.  We are the parents!  We have actively tried many solutions for the last 1.5 years.  We just won't give up and must believe that staying the course will have the best outcome.  It has.   We would normally be considered strict parents but we have found that strict is not nearly strict enough for her.  Do you know that saying, "give and inch and they will take a mile", for her is more like "give a millimeter and she will take 10 miles".  So for her, we cannot miss a beat and we have to 100% unified in this.  She excels when the boundaries/rules are very clearly defined and enforced.  What has occured in the last 2 months is like metamorphasis.  She has emerged as the sweetest and most thoughtful of our children.  It is just unbelievable.  Any the reality is that is only took about 5-7 days to notice the difference.  Seems like a good deal to me.  A terrible week for years of joy.....

So I have rambled.... but to conclude, I really think that many of the issues we deal with today have much more to do with the parents laziness or alternate priorities than with the child. 

Unfortunately, I believe that for much of our society, children are treated like an accessory.

[Bennettoid]

My wife spoils, I discipline. I also spend every moment I can with them.

My children are better adjusted and behaved then other kids in "progressive" families, and my kids know it. They tend to recognize and point out problems in other households.

Of course, we're not perfect, but we try.